My Musings · Poems/Lyrics

Jillian’s Challenge.

So for those of you who follow this blog some of you may have read the travesty to poetry that is Fluffy Bunny’s Adventure Land. It came about after a challenge by Jillian at RantandRaveaboutBooks that I couldn’t write happy poetry, well it wasn’t happy as such but it was funny. Now, as I did my part of the challenge, Jillian has to write a poem about Butterflies-I’ve read it and it’s funny if somewhat smutty! And I believe she is posting it on Tuesday.

Now, the comments from previous posts have ended up as Twitter conversations to and I told her to bring it, she has challenged me to write 5 poems about 5 subjects that she picked:

  1. Taylor Swift.
  2. Unicorns and Rainbows-with a happy ending.
  3. Game of Thrones.
  4. Tricksy American Girls.
  5. Singing in either the shower or rain.

Proof of her vile criteria canbe found here as she so politely posted it on Twitter:

IMG_20160703_061254

What follows is my attempt at the challenge, though I’m changing the order and putting Tricksy American Girls last.

For anyone reading this, these poems are meant only as a bit of fun, no offence is meant and none shouldbe taken. πŸ™‚

Taylor Swift:

If I’m ever stuck at sea, adrift,

I hope it isn’t with bloody awful, Taylor Swift,

Oh how her music pains,

As a metal fan it drives me insane,

On her videos she always looks so happy,

Doesn’t she realise her own music is crappy.


Unicorns and Rainbows:

Howling wind the unicorn did hate,

Waiting for it gusty awfulness to abate,

Staying indoors out of the rain,

This stupid weather would ruin her glorious mane,

Then came a knocking at her door,

There stood a male unicorn, she thought score,

Asking, out of the weather could he come in,

She replied gladly, please slip within,

Out the window they saw the sun come out,

With glee they started to jump and shout,

As the clouds disappeared,

Up in the sky a rainbow did appear,

Laying in the grass, it was sun warm,

The male asked the female would you like to hold my horn.


Game Of Thrones:

In Game of Thrones,

All the books are hefty tomes,

Lots of different houses,

Lots of countless spouses,

Most characters end up dead,

Most characters lose their head,

In the lands, where brother and sister bed,

Crimson with blood, rivers always run red,

In the place where Dire Wolves roam,

Some just wish to find their way back home,

How does the tale end you might say,

Alas, the author still hasn’t finished upto this day.


Singing in the shower/rain:

Some people love to sing in the rain,

Belting out songs no matter their shame,

It brings them pleasure, only brings us pain,

Some people love to sing in the shower,

Belting out songs like you got the power,

It brings them pleasure, still only brings us pain,

Listening from up above,

God has had enough,

With a miserly frown,

He shouts down,

I’m sorry none of you can sing,

It’s the way it is, just a thing.


Tricksy American Girls:

I’m glad American women live far over the water,

Foul mouthed and smutty they act like Satan’s daughter,

Some sort of trampy half breed,

Skank mixed with a demon seed,

England has elegant ladies,

America just has crazies,

I’m sorry my Yanky brethren,

But in the end,

While you can run, you can’t hide,

From the smutterfly that lives inside.


So there you go, challenge done, now as I did her challenge I am going to challenge No Thrills Jill herself, I thought I’d give her 5 subjects like she did to me, but it seems really mean and unfair and so I have come up with this diabolical plan!

I challenge Jillian to write a deep and meaningful poem that evokes emotion and DOES NOT include any snark, smut or foul language!

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39 thoughts on “Jillian’s Challenge.

  1. Drew, do you really mean that? πŸ˜‚ You’re glad I live so far away? You know I’m awesome just admit it. I make you laugh with my American stupidity. I can’t believe you wrote these so fast. I love the Taylor Swift poem. πŸ˜‚ I knew you could do that one no problem. I have more to say. I need to read them again.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, it’s a good one. It made me laugh. Actually, I really like all of them. I can’t believe how fast you wrote them. You can’t possibly think I’m that bad though. πŸ˜‚ If they read that you wrote them for my challenge and they see I’m clearly American based on the agreement, then I don’t think you’ll get any lashings. I told you to do your best shit talk and you did. So you delivered and held up your end of the agreement. I think my part will be easier than you think. I already know what I’m going to write about. It’s probably the realest thing I’ll ever write and it’s true. And it’s something only one person knows. Can’t get any more real than that. I can see why you like writing poetry now.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I wouldn’t say I like writing poetry, well I do now and it does add an extra to my crappy blog but to start with back in the day it was a constructive way to get feelings out instead of bottling them up inside-damn that makes me sound weird!

        Ha, it’s to bad if anyone takes offence, it is fun and it’s clearly stated it’s a bit of fun, though only 7 likes so far, looks like Jillian’s challenge is a bomb! πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You’re not weird. I totally get it. That’s the exact same reason I write fiction. I hide in my head and in my characters. I don’t think anyone will take offense. If they do, they need to get a grip. It doesn’t matter how many people like it. I think how many people read it is more important. And it’s also Sunday and Fourth of July weekend in the US. I’m sure more people will read it after the holiday, which is tomorrow.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. It’s funny you say skanky and trampy cause I’m far from it. I just talk a lot of shit. πŸ˜‰ Foul mouthed for sure. I’m not the worst. I’m brilliant and funny and I keep you entertained. 😝 Will you just admit it already?

        Like

      5. School holidays were awesome, there’d be so much reading and gaming time, sorry adulting and doing something constructive time! πŸ˜‚

        Ha, I don’t work weekends, I was awake so may aswell have checked Twitter and wordpress ad I surprisingly do have some followers. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I know. I love school holidays. I don’t think I’ve ever worked a weekend. Except maybe a few back in high school and I just showed up hung over or still drunk anyway and slept in my car on my break. πŸ˜‚ You were up really early. I looked at my clock like damn doesn’t he ever sleep. Yay! New followers. When is your blogging anniversary? This week right?

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Yeah, weird timing. Unless you want me to post it tomorrow. I might be snarky but you know I will write you a glowing review. I think I did well by you when I did that 10 Things I Like About Your Blog feature. In fact, I said really nice stuff about you and barely knew more than your name back then. Trust me you’ll approve. I won’t say I’m glad you live so far away like you did to me. πŸ˜‚ It is all my fault and I will accept full responsibility. My followers know I’m a snarky troublemaker. πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hhmm, no, but that’s not a bad use for it! 😊 If you’ve been following the posts, Fluffy Bunny was written for a challenge by Jill at RantandRaveaboutBooks, she’s writing a poem about Butterflies and as it and she are both quite smutty, Smutterfly was born. πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. *can’t stop laughing* I DO like Taylor Swift, but this poem is awesome. You did give the Unicorns and Rainbow quite a happy ending, haha! I loved loved loved the GoT one. (goes back to read again). I plead guilty, I belt out in the shower, that’s probably why it’s my favorite poem! Jill as Satan’s daughter πŸ˜‚ You killed me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ahahaha!!! That was fun, man! You’re hilarious. Love them all but that unicorn one really cracked me up “please slip within” and of course I love that GOT one too “How does the tale end you might say, / Alas, the author still hasn’t finished up to this day.”
    Great start to my day, man, thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

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