So for those of you who follow this blog some of you may have read the travesty to poetry that is Fluffy Bunny’s Adventure Land. It came about after a challenge by Jillian at RantandRaveaboutBooks that I couldn’t write happy poetry, well it wasn’t happy as such but it was funny. Now, as I did my part of the challenge, Jillian has to write a poem about Butterflies-I’ve read it and it’s funny if somewhat smutty! And I believe she is posting it on Tuesday.
Now, the comments from previous posts have ended up as Twitter conversations to and I told her to bring it, she has challenged me to write 5 poems about 5 subjects that she picked:
- Taylor Swift.
- Unicorns and Rainbows-with a happy ending.
- Game of Thrones.
- Tricksy American Girls.
- Singing in either the shower or rain.
Proof of her vile criteria canbe found here as she so politely posted it on Twitter:
What follows is my attempt at the challenge, though I’m changing the order and putting Tricksy American Girls last.
For anyone reading this, these poems are meant only as a bit of fun, no offence is meant and none shouldbe taken. 🙂
If I’m ever stuck at sea, adrift,
I hope it isn’t with bloody awful, Taylor Swift,
Oh how her music pains,
As a metal fan it drives me insane,
On her videos she always looks so happy,
Doesn’t she realise her own music is crappy.
Unicorns and Rainbows:
Howling wind the unicorn did hate,
Waiting for it gusty awfulness to abate,
Staying indoors out of the rain,
This stupid weather would ruin her glorious mane,
Then came a knocking at her door,
There stood a male unicorn, she thought score,
Asking, out of the weather could he come in,
She replied gladly, please slip within,
Out the window they saw the sun come out,
With glee they started to jump and shout,
As the clouds disappeared,
Up in the sky a rainbow did appear,
Laying in the grass, it was sun warm,
The male asked the female would you like to hold my horn.
Game Of Thrones:
In Game of Thrones,
All the books are hefty tomes,
Lots of different houses,
Lots of countless spouses,
Most characters end up dead,
Most characters lose their head,
In the lands, where brother and sister bed,
Crimson with blood, rivers always run red,
In the place where Dire Wolves roam,
Some just wish to find their way back home,
How does the tale end you might say,
Alas, the author still hasn’t finished upto this day.
Singing in the shower/rain:
Some people love to sing in the rain,
Belting out songs no matter their shame,
It brings them pleasure, only brings us pain,
Some people love to sing in the shower,
Belting out songs like you got the power,
It brings them pleasure, still only brings us pain,
Listening from up above,
God has had enough,
With a miserly frown,
He shouts down,
I’m sorry none of you can sing,
It’s the way it is, just a thing.
Tricksy American Girls:
I’m glad American women live far over the water,
Foul mouthed and smutty they act like Satan’s daughter,
Some sort of trampy half breed,
Skank mixed with a demon seed,
England has elegant ladies,
America just has crazies,
I’m sorry my Yanky brethren,
But in the end,
While you can run, you can’t hide,
From the smutterfly that lives inside.
So there you go, challenge done, now as I did her challenge I am going to challenge No Thrills Jill herself, I thought I’d give her 5 subjects like she did to me, but it seems really mean and unfair and so I have come up with this diabolical plan!
I challenge Jillian to write a deep and meaningful poem that evokes emotion and DOES NOT include any snark, smut or foul language!