So for those of you who follow this blog some of you may have read the travesty to poetry that is Fluffy Bunny’s Adventure Land. It came about after a challenge by Jillian at RantandRaveaboutBooks that I couldn’t write happy poetry, well it wasn’t happy as such but it was funny. Now, as I did my part of the challenge, Jillian has to write a poem about Butterflies-I’ve read it and it’s funny if somewhat smutty! And I believe she is posting it on Tuesday.
Now, the comments from previous posts have ended up as Twitter conversations to and I told her to bring it, she has challenged me to write 5 poems about 5 subjects that she picked:
- Taylor Swift.
- Unicorns and Rainbows-with a happy ending.
- Game of Thrones.
- Tricksy American Girls.
- Singing in either the shower or rain.
Proof of her vile criteria canbe found here as she so politely posted it on Twitter:
What follows is my attempt at the challenge, though I’m changing the order and putting Tricksy American Girls last.
For anyone reading this, these poems are meant only as a bit of fun, no offence is meant and none shouldbe taken. 🙂
Taylor Swift:
If I’m ever stuck at sea, adrift,
I hope it isn’t with bloody awful, Taylor Swift,
Oh how her music pains,
As a metal fan it drives me insane,
On her videos she always looks so happy,
Doesn’t she realise her own music is crappy.
Unicorns and Rainbows:
Howling wind the unicorn did hate,
Waiting for it gusty awfulness to abate,
Staying indoors out of the rain,
This stupid weather would ruin her glorious mane,
Then came a knocking at her door,
There stood a male unicorn, she thought score,
Asking, out of the weather could he come in,
She replied gladly, please slip within,
Out the window they saw the sun come out,
With glee they started to jump and shout,
As the clouds disappeared,
Up in the sky a rainbow did appear,
Laying in the grass, it was sun warm,
The male asked the female would you like to hold my horn.
Game Of Thrones:
In Game of Thrones,
All the books are hefty tomes,
Lots of different houses,
Lots of countless spouses,
Most characters end up dead,
Most characters lose their head,
In the lands, where brother and sister bed,
Crimson with blood, rivers always run red,
In the place where Dire Wolves roam,
Some just wish to find their way back home,
How does the tale end you might say,
Alas, the author still hasn’t finished upto this day.
Singing in the shower/rain:
Some people love to sing in the rain,
Belting out songs no matter their shame,
It brings them pleasure, only brings us pain,
Some people love to sing in the shower,
Belting out songs like you got the power,
It brings them pleasure, still only brings us pain,
Listening from up above,
God has had enough,
With a miserly frown,
He shouts down,
I’m sorry none of you can sing,
It’s the way it is, just a thing.
Tricksy American Girls:
I’m glad American women live far over the water,
Foul mouthed and smutty they act like Satan’s daughter,
Some sort of trampy half breed,
Skank mixed with a demon seed,
England has elegant ladies,
America just has crazies,
I’m sorry my Yanky brethren,
But in the end,
While you can run, you can’t hide,
From the smutterfly that lives inside.
So there you go, challenge done, now as I did her challenge I am going to challenge No Thrills Jill herself, I thought I’d give her 5 subjects like she did to me, but it seems really mean and unfair and so I have come up with this diabolical plan!
I challenge Jillian to write a deep and meaningful poem that evokes emotion and DOES NOT include any snark, smut or foul language!
Drew, do you really mean that? 😂 You’re glad I live so far away? You know I’m awesome just admit it. I make you laugh with my American stupidity. I can’t believe you wrote these so fast. I love the Taylor Swift poem. 😂 I knew you could do that one no problem. I have more to say. I need to read them again.
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More to say?? Ha, I did like the tricky American girls one, needed something to rhyme with daughter as needed Satan’s daughter in there after I thought of it. I can imagine the hate I’m going to get from your fellow American women over it! 😂
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Yeah, it’s a good one. It made me laugh. Actually, I really like all of them. I can’t believe how fast you wrote them. You can’t possibly think I’m that bad though. 😂 If they read that you wrote them for my challenge and they see I’m clearly American based on the agreement, then I don’t think you’ll get any lashings. I told you to do your best shit talk and you did. So you delivered and held up your end of the agreement. I think my part will be easier than you think. I already know what I’m going to write about. It’s probably the realest thing I’ll ever write and it’s true. And it’s something only one person knows. Can’t get any more real than that. I can see why you like writing poetry now.
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I wouldn’t say I like writing poetry, well I do now and it does add an extra to my crappy blog but to start with back in the day it was a constructive way to get feelings out instead of bottling them up inside-damn that makes me sound weird!
Ha, it’s to bad if anyone takes offence, it is fun and it’s clearly stated it’s a bit of fun, though only 7 likes so far, looks like Jillian’s challenge is a bomb! 😂
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You’re not weird. I totally get it. That’s the exact same reason I write fiction. I hide in my head and in my characters. I don’t think anyone will take offense. If they do, they need to get a grip. It doesn’t matter how many people like it. I think how many people read it is more important. And it’s also Sunday and Fourth of July weekend in the US. I’m sure more people will read it after the holiday, which is tomorrow.
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Ha, I’m quite happy to defend myself against a bunch of irate American Smutterfly’s! 😂
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Yeah, those damn Smutterfly’s. 😉
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Skanky trampy trashy foul mouthed Smutterfly’s are the worst! 😂
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It’s funny you say skanky and trampy cause I’m far from it. I just talk a lot of shit. 😉 Foul mouthed for sure. I’m not the worst. I’m brilliant and funny and I keep you entertained. 😝 Will you just admit it already?
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Oh and I wrote them fast as I was having a lazy day and didn’t have much to do or do much, I’m not a Poetry machine who can throw out stuff constantly, I do have to adult and be a grown-up at times. 😁
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You were up early again. Did you have to work today? I hate being a grownup. I wish I had summers off and didn’t have to work. I could be a professional student.
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School holidays were awesome, there’d be so much reading and gaming time, sorry adulting and doing something constructive time! 😂
Ha, I don’t work weekends, I was awake so may aswell have checked Twitter and wordpress ad I surprisingly do have some followers. 😁
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I know. I love school holidays. I don’t think I’ve ever worked a weekend. Except maybe a few back in high school and I just showed up hung over or still drunk anyway and slept in my car on my break. 😂 You were up really early. I looked at my clock like damn doesn’t he ever sleep. Yay! New followers. When is your blogging anniversary? This week right?
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Blogging anniversary???
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Silly boys. 😂 You know like the day you started blogging. Mine is March 14th. I think you said yours was a week or two before mine.
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Oh right, March 5th the blog was created and born unto this world seeping it’s evil shoddy language and grammar onto the bloggersphere. 😂
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Haha! 😂 So I guess Tuesday is a perfect day to post Fifty Shades of Fluffy cause it will be your 4 month blog anniversary.
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That’s when you were posting it anyway! 😊 more concerned with what your going to write before the poem about Fluffy and me, even though it was all your fault! 😂
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Yeah, weird timing. Unless you want me to post it tomorrow. I might be snarky but you know I will write you a glowing review. I think I did well by you when I did that 10 Things I Like About Your Blog feature. In fact, I said really nice stuff about you and barely knew more than your name back then. Trust me you’ll approve. I won’t say I’m glad you live so far away like you did to me. 😂 It is all my fault and I will accept full responsibility. My followers know I’m a snarky troublemaker. 😉
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Damn that 10 things blog feature seems ages ago! 😂
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And back then you were so quiet and shy and now look at you. I managed to pull you out of your shell. 😉
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Wow! I loved reading all these poems. You did give quite a challenge to Jillian though, one that evokes emotion must be hard to accomplish. If she could just do a sexual tinted one, I’m sure she could evoke lots of emotion 😜
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Haha! You know me so well. I’m posting my poem about Fluffy and Butterfly’s sex life on Tuesday. And Drew already wrote the sequel to Fluffy 1, which takes place after my poem. 🤗
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That butterfly poem is absolute smut! 😂
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And you love all of its smutty awesomeness! 🤗
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Ha, no sexual, smut, snark or foul mouthed for Jillian, we shall see if she succeeds! 😂
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Hilarious! *crying with laughter*
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I love the unicorn one. I’d post it in my wall indeed
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:’) Smutterflies, is that a new word for tramp stamp? xD
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Hhmm, no, but that’s not a bad use for it! 😊 If you’ve been following the posts, Fluffy Bunny was written for a challenge by Jill at RantandRaveaboutBooks, she’s writing a poem about Butterflies and as it and she are both quite smutty, Smutterfly was born. 😂
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I hadn’t seen the Fluffy post yet, but oh myyy, that’s some priceless shit :’)
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*can’t stop laughing* I DO like Taylor Swift, but this poem is awesome. You did give the Unicorns and Rainbow quite a happy ending, haha! I loved loved loved the GoT one. (goes back to read again). I plead guilty, I belt out in the shower, that’s probably why it’s my favorite poem! Jill as Satan’s daughter 😂 You killed me.
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Jill as Satan’s daughter is quite good but wait until you read Fluffy 2 and see No Thrills Jills role in that! 😂
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Ahahaha!!! That was fun, man! You’re hilarious. Love them all but that unicorn one really cracked me up “please slip within” and of course I love that GOT one too “How does the tale end you might say, / Alas, the author still hasn’t finished up to this day.”
Great start to my day, man, thanks!
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Ha, commenting on the innuendo laden ‘please slip within’ that’s the first comment about that! 🙂
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