My Musings

Is this the end?

Is thisthe end-

Miss me?! Realise I was gone?! Care?! Give a damn?! No! Didn’t think so!

I doubt that anyone noticed (I know I suck at commentating anyway, don’t post daily and I’m not one of the popular bloggers, part of the in-crowd or one of the cool kids) but I took a step away from social media (though I was still on there as it’s funny) and more importantly a week away from my blog, hell, it was the 14th when I last posted. I needed a break to clear my head over a few things and to consider what to do with my blog.

In my absence a few people followed my blog, liked my posts and a few commented (I’ll try and reply but if I miss any comments then my sincere apologies). Nothing really changed, the blog kept turning over, the world kept on spinning, Β the wheels on the bus kept turning round and round, the boobs of the world kept bouncing up and down and the apocalypse didn’t happen.

I had a case of ‘blogger burnout‘ back in March, not long after my blog turned 1 and I’ve been struggling with blogging again lately, to steal from HBK (Shawn Michael’s, WWE reference) I lost my smile.

I’ve found myself constantly questioning my blog. I shouldn’t be bothered about stats and generally, I’m not. But, I’ve realised recently that my follower count is going up (which is great) but the views, likes, comments and general interaction has been declining (which sucks) and it’s weird as you would think that if one goes up then so should the other! I’d also noticed that bloggers who once liked and commented on my blog have stopped and I find myself asking why? What have I done? I suck at commentating (as I previously mentioned) and I know that I don’t comment on many blogs. To me, it seems like you miss a few posts and then people just stop bothering with your blog in return. It happens to most bloggers, people come and people go, they fade away, it’s life but I found it noticeable with a few bloggers who I thought that I got on quite well with, bloggers who I thought would support my blog like I have supported theirs.

Obviously, it’s me and my blog that’s the issue! It’s probably the books I read too, I’m just a generic fantasy fan and I’m not down with all your Y-A and diverse books that are popular. I love my nerdy and geeky genre and while everyone else seems to be diversifying as it’s the ‘cool‘ thing to do, I’m quite happy to just keep reading what I like and fuck the rest! Sorry, those genres hold no appeal to me at all, which I’m sure all you diverse lovers will chime off about, that it’s people like me who won’t give the genre a chance. I’ll give you this, not everyone has to read the same and not everyone wants to read the same either! So, I guess that’s why you don’t bother with my blog, differences in books! I think it’s more than that though, I think personality plays a role too and I bet that while lots love what I write, lots also don’t.

I see everyone else’s stats increasing, bloggers telling the world how wonderful they are, how amazing and mine are stagnating, going down and I don’t know why?! I’ve written far more discussion and original posts than I ever did for the whole of last year and yet, downward spiral. Surely my blog should be growing like everyone else’s?! Is it really that bad?! I know I don’t have a bright and vibrant blog interface like many but are aesthetics really that important?! I like my howling Wolf and easy to navigate simple theme.

Blogger drama is also tiring and I get fed-up with it. Especially when people are jealous. You have more followers than them, jealous and you don’t deserve it, more likes, jealous and you don’t deserve it and then, of course, you get the ‘my review is better than yours’ brigade too, it’s not a pissing contest over popularity and who’s review is better as we all review differently, same for blog posts, we all write them differently, it’s called personality. It’s not the end of the fucking world but instead of praising a blogger for doing well people are jealous and bad mouth them because they are of the opinion that they are better, more like bitter. FYI, I’m the only one who can bad mouth my blog, anyone else, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

I look at my reviews, the simple wording, often repeated phrases, the bad grammar (though Grammarly has improved it and hey, if anyone want’s to be a grammar nazi maybe I shall be a personality nazi), the simplistic approach and style and I’m plagued by self-doubt that they aren’t good enough. Now, I know that there aren’t any specific criteria to adhere to for a ‘great‘ review but I see other reviews by bloggers which go into elaborate detail and overview of the story and offer in depth critique and analysis and I think ‘damn, mine don’t stand-up and match them‘ and then I feel bad about my reviews. It’s tiring looking at what you write and thinking how bad and how poor quality it is. The power of positivity is lacking where I’m concerned and just for once I’d like to look at something I’ve written and think ‘yeah, that’s pretty damn good‘.

A large part of blogging is also the community, it’s one of the main aspects and people always praise it, rightly so too, as you are all a great bunch. I’ve seen plenty of bloggers make real friends regardless of location and country with each other, people who are there for each other, even if it’s only a virtual friendship. Let’s be honest too, a kind and/or friendly word from a fellow blogger might be more than you get from people you know in real-life. Slipknot had it right with their song people = shit. Some sure fucking do!

I’m a loner in real-life, the stereotypical anti-social guy and part of me hoped that I’d be able to find a place within the book blogging community. For a time I thought that I had but now, not so much, I’m on the outskirts and I think that’s where I’ll always be, my antisocial ways seem to have bled over into blogging. Me and my blog are just unlikeable! I hoped it could be different but I can deal with being an outcast I just wish I could get my time back from people I wasted it on, kicked to the kerb because you think you’re better, if I wasn’t good enough at least I was fucking genuine!

When I started The Tattooed Book Geek I needed something to focus on, to help get me through a dark place and turning my love of reading into a book blog seemed like a good idea. Times change, I’m not sure that applies anymore and instead of being something to look forward to blogging was starting to feel like a chore when it should be fun!Β 

I write what I want, sarcasm, check, puns, check, innuendo, check, swearing, check! The price guide post I wrote recently was probably one of the most foul-mouthed posts ever written, not much point to it, just tongue in cheek and lots of fun. Other posts I’ve written while also foul-mouthed and sarcastic did have points, often serious, author harassment, bloggers not being real readers, etc. All these posts do well, you all seem to love them, which is great! But, I don’t want to be seen as a performing monkey, I don’t want it to be a case of ‘let’s see what controversial thing he’ll write next‘ and for people to expect swearing and sarcasm, though they are key components of me and this blog. I don’t want my blog and me to get a bad reputation merely for being me in my blog posts. I could tone it down, be polite, eloquent and use no sarcasm or swearing BUT……it wouldn’t be me and if I did that I wouldn’t be being true to myself. Sure, I can rock the politeness with the best of them but I shouldn’t have to filter my own little blog just in case some people with delicate sensibilities don’t like it and take offence to what I write. I should feel free to write whatever the fuck I like!

I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t try to offend anyone on my blog, that would be wrong as I’m fully aware that lots of what I write does cross the line of decency. However, I don’t go out of my way to intentionally offend. Yes, there is a difference, I don’t think ‘ooohhh, what can I write that will offend certain people‘ ergo, trying intentionally to offend. Nope, some people just take offence as sadly there’ll always be someone who picks fault, dislikes and criticises what you write simply due to the fact that they disagree with the wording and language. I just write what I want and what I find amusing. If people find it funny too, it’s all good, if people take offence, it’s too bad, my blog, my wording, my language my motherfucking personality.

I’ve just been feeling that for a long time I put a lot into this blog and I get nothing back, I’m not sure what I expect, if anything but I’d like to achieve some feeling of self-worth from it purely for myself. I don’t mean stats, likes, comments or anything like that, I mean that I’d like to look at my blog and think ‘yeah, it’s cool‘ and a good place for people to visit instead of looking at it and thinking it’s a steaming pile of shit, which I have been doing a lot lately.

I lack confidence in myself and I lack confidence in my blog too. It’s a hobby, it should be fun! No-one likes my blog, it means no-one likes me as I put my own personality into the blog, wrong mindset but it’s the one I have and why would an unpopular guy have a popular blog?! They wouldn’t and I was crazy to think that I could!

You write something people don’t like, vilified, you don’t read the popular books, vilified, you came to blogging later than many and aren’t part of their cliques, vilified.

I’m not even a standard fantasy book blogger, I post weird shit and write poetry too, my blog is a fucking strange place and I don’t know where it or I fit into the blogging community?!?

Now I come to the end of this post and you know what dear readers?!? I have decided that I really don’t give a shit! Sure, I’m going to continue to be pissed and annoyed by certain people and certain things to do with blogging. But that’s life and everyone gets fed up, fucked off and annoyed at times over everything and people piss me off constantly anyway, try working in a supermarket!

Not a standard blogger? Who cares!
Not popular? Who gives a shit!
Don’t like my blog? See ya!
Have issues with how I write stuff? Bye bye, babies!
Foul mouthed? Fuck yeah!
Sarcastic? Me, never!
Gobby cunt? Hell yeah!

My week away from my blog was a good thing. It was a nice break not having to post any blog posts, draft any posts, check out blogs or even bother with anything blog related but it made me realise that I like having a blog! Sad as it sounds, The Tattooed Book Geek is my little slice of the Internet and it’s staying. My blog is my place to share my book reviews, views, vent and mouth off and I’m going to continue to keep on doing all that in my own unique way! I might be a bad blogger at times and miss posts, vanish for days, write shorter reviews, etc, but I’m staying and I’m going to blog for myself.Β 

So, to answer the title of the post, is this the end?!?

No, it is not!

I’m going to continue blogging and I’m going to continue being me. For those who want to join me on this journey, welcome, hi, let’s continue to have some foul-mouthed and sarcastic fun! πŸ™‚ For those looking for a nunnery or the priesthood, this blog isn’t for you.Β If anyone doesn’t like it, then, with all the sincerity, politeness and courtesy in the world you can fuck off! πŸ™‚

Keep on rollin' baby

Let’s be honest, those that follow this blog knew I’d end the post with some swearing!


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154 thoughts on “Is this the end?

  1. So glad you will keep on blogging, no matter what!
    To borrow the words of my favorite character in Babylon 5 (one of my preferred sources for wisdom): “each voice enriches us and ennobles us and each voice lost diminishes us”. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad you’re sticking around. We all have those ‘why am I bothering’ moments so it’s always good to step away. I’m always beating myself up for not interacting as much as others… some days I only just manage to post on my own blog let alone peruse and enjoy others! Life is busy. I like to think other bloggers understand that lack of interaction is just life getting in the way.
    I love your blog, your humour is the same as mine and I envy that you can incorporate it so well into your blog posts! *fist bump* 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As long as you like blogging, it brings you an outlet and a way to express yourself, who gives a fuck about anyone and anything else?? I might not read the books you do but I still like reading your posts and enjoy your opinions. And don’t you ever, ever, turn your back on sarcasm.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Drew! I love your blog and your discussion posts. I think we all go through those moments where we question the work we put into our blogs. Burnout’s normal and those times that we step away and refresh ourselves mentally are well deserved and necessary. Never feel guilty for doing you and reading/reviewing what you like! Your take on fantasy novels is one of the first I look for when I’m considering a fantasy read. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, appreciate it.πŸ˜€

      Yeah, I think we all get jaded, fed-up and burn out at times, blogging can be hard work at times. But my week away cleared my thoughts and I’m definitely in a better place blog wise at the moment and will be sticking around.πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Well to start off – NO! I did NOT miss you , since I was missing myself . And of course you are one of the “in-crowd” bloggers , how could you not be? your blogs are awesome man .

    I also hope you weren’t referring to me among the people who have stopped viewing ,liking and commenting on your blog posts , since as I have stated before , I’m not being all that online anymore , If I’m amongst those who you feel have let you down , I’m sorry mate .

    Lastly glad to see you will still be blogging , I learn of so many Fantasy books from your posts , and although I won’t turn down any book to read , I’m not necessarily forcing myself to read more diverse books and Fantasy remains my favorite genre .

    Also once again love your discussion post , hope the burnouts go away asap

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha!πŸ˜‚ You can’t miss someone when you’re missing yourself, very true.πŸ˜‚

      Nope, definitely not an “in-crowd” blogger, never been part of the in-crowd for anything!

      No, Rash, you’re not amongst them! I always enjoy your blog and reviews and whenever you comment on my blog. I know how busy you were and are and also with the migraines too, while the comment was aimed at a few people, no, you’re honestly not amongst them.πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Phew! good to hear that . Won’t like to piss you off ,I have seen posts about people who have pissed you off

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hallo, Hallo Drew!

    I thought I might like your blog – I found your comment via the how to handle ARCs post?! I don’t believe my comment is live yet; but I liked yours & it led me here! I definitely can personally relate to what your saying – almost as if your paragraphs were written ‘by me’ because I had a lot of ups/downs as a blogger myself a few years back. I had readers who read my blog, interacted with me and then, either told me outright – they had other bloggers to support + read (which meant no more #JLASblog!) or they just vacated from sight w/o a reason as to why… I did what you did – question what changed?

    I have read as diversely now as I did then – I’m also a hybrid reader who loves INSPY + mainstream; is addicted to HistFic as much as she’s properly attached and rooted inside Sci-Fi & Fantasy – (ahem, I’m having trouble knowing I have to ‘let go’ of The Clan Chronicles this year!) — so what changed? Like you – I couldn’t comment a lot or by any regular frequency – behind the blog – I was going through nearly three out of four years (the life of my blog) of personal strife and adversity. The kind of things you’d think would have put my blog on hold but it became a saving grace for me – to focus on authors & stories – to share some bookish joy or random joy on Twitter – to engage with readers and continue to hone in on the stories which uplifted my spirit to read – across genres & literary styles – one story at a time, and finding such a well of creative synergy along the way! The characters the worlds – the moments I’ve lived inside books – it not only helped me get through a turbulent part of my life, it renewed my readerly life and my love of literature!

    Recently I was invited to join a meme (The Sunday Post) and I started to link to Cant Wait Weds which is a new variant of Waiting On Wednesday which I still call it (ie. homage!) – it’s renewed my place in the book blogging community – as now that I know my Dad’s in the clear (he’s a stroke survivor) for now – I feel like I’m lighter somehow and a bit freer. Seven months is a long time to wait for a sense of ‘relief’ from a life changing medical crisis — the previous stress left two and a half years ago but all told – by my 4th Blogoversary, I was still dealing witha lot of ‘life’ concurrent to being the happy-go-lucky book blogger!

    These memes are like going back to basics – back to when I was a commenter on blogs (in 2012) and not a book blogger. I have missed my routes and blog hops – missed commenting & interacting. I feel like I’m turning over a new leaf and chapter – not just as a book blogger whose in a Renaissance on her blog (major reduction in commitments) but as a girl who loves being bookish & chatty!

    I guess what I’m trying to say – if your near a burn-out – don’t overthink it. Do what you need to do to avoid it or to work through it. If it means taking breaks or lulls, do that! If it means switching things up and blogging about something else – or reading a genre you never thought you’d love, do that too! OR do what I did – re-direct your interests offline – I brought art back into my life (I’m a knitter, but I also love adult colouring); plus I offset print books now with audiobooks – talk about a more balanced reading life!

    By the way – seeing comments on my blog these past two weeks (via the memes) has been a boost of joy for me. I was used to not getting commentary on anything I posted – review or otherwise (including guest author features I would write Qs or topics for) – so seeing people coming back & convo’ing me… that’s been a rainbow of happiness – like a real rainbow you see after a thunderstorm? Something unexpected, something beautiful and something that just makes you feel happy?!

    It took everything I had to keep my blog moving forward – I couldn’t have travelled round before now – so if I lost connections due to life affecting my blogging life, than I own that. If new people want to get to know me now, I’ll embrace the spontaneity of it but at least I know I can survive the lean years – where I’m writing to the ‘void’ and hoping those who traverse my posts (as I do watch my stats – it was a way to know my blog was well read but not highly commented on) will find something that resonates with them.

    PS: Language aside, as you’ll find my Fly in the Ointment section amusing (I hope?) as we have a different take on that – different perspectives are healthy – but your the second blogger whose more outspoken than I who I can relate too! πŸ™‚ Just be yourself. That’s all the matters! And, technically speaking, I just re-climbed back to 100 Followers. 100 people followed me and I’m a 4th Year Book Blogger – trust me, I cherish each person out of the 100 – those are my readers and I am thankful for each one. In regards to the cattiness? Ugh. There are dark sides to anything in life – I’m not out to be popular, I just want to help people find books to read! πŸ™‚

    // Sorry so long – I just understood your angst. I’m on the ‘other side’ now. Blogging is a walk of faith for me – so after some soul searching, I resolved how to find my ‘joy’ again. In both blogging and being social on Twitter. I’ve contemplated quitting at least 5x since I started. Your not alone in that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Add raid review to Amazon UK and tweet and FB.

      Messenger reply.

      Reply to Bentley comment on is this the end.

      Ah, cool, the post from Whimsy pages? It was a great post.

      Reading and books definitely do have power to help you escape from reality and forget about life whilst you’re in the pages of a good book.πŸ˜€

      Eurgh, audio books, I’ve never gotten into audio books, can’t stand them!πŸ˜‚ Not really sure why either as I used to love listening to music all the time and while I don’t listen hardly as much now I’d have thought that I’d have at least liked audio books but no.πŸ˜‚

      I’lm definitely not going to stress over blogging as much, if people like what I write then they do, if they don’t, they don’t. If I take a few days away, I do etc. The blog will still be there. But I’m in a better place after my week away from blogging now with the blog and will be sticking around.

      I’m sorry about your Dad and I know about life changing medical crisis with family too unfortunately. 😦

      Lol, language aside! I admit it, I swear a lot and I’m sarcastic too and make bad puns and jokes but it all adds to the personality or that’s my excuse anyway, it’s my blog, I might as well be me on it!πŸ˜‚

      I wouldn’t really say I’m outspoken, hhhmm, I probably am actually but I don’t really see it that way, I just say what I want and how I feel about things in my own unique way. πŸ™‚

      Yeah, that’s very true about cattinness, it happens in all walks of life, just seems a bit stupid to me over a blog though, there’s far more important things in the world than jealousy over another’s blog.

      Like

  7. I used to post every day, but now I only post twice a week. I have Grammarly too. I used to worry about followers too, but now I don’t. I have done some YA books, but here lately I have been doing some classics and adult books.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Whew! You had me a little nervous there. I thought we were losing you 😦 I’m sorry some of the drama of blogging has got you down. I wonder if your stat counts are down because of the season? Not sure where you live, but here in the U.S., it’s summer time… I feel like people are out and about more when the weather is nice, and less inclined to stay inside and blog hop… Just a theory. As far as the books you read, you can’t cater to others….Just keep doing you Drew πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks and yeah, I’m sticking around to pollute the book blogging community with my sarcasm, foul mouth and filth! Oh, and I guess the occasional review too just to keep it bookish! πŸ˜‚

      I’m in the UK so yep, summertime. I was just questioning blogging and stuff had got to me over it, add in that I’m going through a unhappy phase at the moment too and this melodramatic post is the result! But I realised on my week away that I like having a blog and so it’s staying.πŸ˜€

      Like

  9. Dude, i think youre the one. I mean, the first and only blogger that can make me laugh from start to finish. Omg! I love your writing style. Wish I could write like that.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ha ha – great post! When I first saw the title of the post, I thought OH NO! Another blogger says goodbye! And I’m so relieved to hear you’re sticking around πŸ™‚ I may not read all of your posts, but the ones I do read always put a smile on my face and your book reviews are very thorough.
    I’ve heard that summer stats are down for everyone. I know that I haven’t been able to do much for the past couple weeks – I went out of town and got behind, and now I’m stuck playing catch up.
    I think you have a very original blogging voice and I appreciate all of the work you do on your blog! So I’m glad to hear you’re not going anywhere!

    Liked by 1 person

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