My Musings

TTBG’s guide to author etiquette when dealing with bloggers

TTBG's guide to author etiquette with bloggers1 (1)

Cunt to right of me!
Cunt to left of me!
Cunt in front of me!

Oh, hello, I was just fouling up and changing some poetry, the classic The Charge of The Light Brigade poem by Tennyson. Only instead of the original canon, I was using cunt, sniggers. πŸ™‚

Maybe authors would have been more appropriate for a book blogger and also a cleaner start to the post. Not that cunts aren’t clean of course, at least you hope they are as you don’t want to catch anything!


Author to right of me!
Author to left of me!
Author behind me!

Oh my! Why hello sailor! Sorry, I’m not that way inclined and unfortunately don’t want your book posting through my back door! Erm…..yeah, I just wrote that! I guess this isn’t going to be an overly serious post in tone! Let’s try that last line again!

Author on top of me!

Hello, ladies! πŸ˜‰ Hhhmm, that’s not really any better is it?!? Sigh, the smut is out to play today! Let’s just stick to the last line of the ‘cunt‘ verse I think that’s safest.

Author in front of me!

Much better, no sexual connotations there!

Actually, I think Tennyson is a bit too mature and adult for me! Let’s unleash my inner toddler with an Old MacDonald parody!

Old MacDonald had a blog,
And on his blog, there was a blogger,
With a cunt fuck here,
And a cunt fuck there,
Here a cunt, there a fuck,
Everywhere a cunt fuck,
Old MacDonald had a blog,

Now wasn’t that better and far more related to blogging! Though, there are sadly some cunts around the world of blogging. Women are born with them. Add in that both men and women tend to be them on occasion too. See, I wasn’t being vulgar earlier, it is simply a fact of the world that there are cunts everywhere!

Right, back on track! Today I’m writing about authors and how they should act with bloggers in my own indomitable and unique way. For those unaware, that means swearing, sarcasm and politically incorrect debauchery.

Authors, you decide you want to promote yourself and your work, either a new book or an older book and decide that book bloggers are the way to go. A good choice, I applaud you for it as we are fucking awesome!

So, you decided on book bloggers, what next?!?

Choose the correct blogger for you.

I’m sure as an author that you all like to think that you and your work are different, bloggers are the same and we are all different too.


There are so many different blogs and bloggers out there don’t just pick the first blog you come across. Do some research and see if that blog and blogger are a fit for you and your work. Browse the wares, have a feel and a squeeze, check out the firmness and the merchandise. πŸ˜‰

Once you’ve chosen a blog and blogger (yes, there’s a difference which I’ll get to later) check out the genres the blogger reviews, see if they are open to review requests, browse their blog and also see if you like their posting and reviewing style.

If you find a blog and blogger that aren’t for you then move on and find one that is. It’ll be beneficial to you. As readers, we can’t like all the books and as an author, there’ll be blogs and bloggers that aren’t for you. Sometimes it’s just not meant to be.

Take my blog, for example, you might read this post and be offended by the language and crass style that I use but it’s how I blog, my blog, my blogging style and the issue would then be with you, I wouldn’t change to accommodate you and I shouldn’t have to.

Then there will be those of you who would read this post and think ‘damn, he’s foul-mouthed and crass but it’s great‘ and decide that my blog is for you.

Contacting the blogger.

Nice and polite, short and to the point, personal and fun too, just be decent and respectful.


Don’t badger, hassle, harangue or stalk the blogger. Contact us once with your request and then leave it. Don’t keep prodding, probing and contacting time and time again. It’s uncool and fucking annoying.

It’s our prerogative to refuse and decline any request that is sent to us. You might not want to feature on a certain blog as you don’t like the blogger’s style, a blogger might not want an author on their blog, it works both ways and no reason needs to be given. You can’t expect every blogger to agree to every request they receive and if you keep contacting while I’m sure you are a nice person the sentence ‘that author is a cunt and keeps fucking contacting me‘ might get bandied around. Well, probably not that sentence, most bloggers are polite and wouldn’t use those words, I’m not most bloggers, I’m not polite and I like the words cunt and fuck!

Also, a blogger has no obligation to reply to your request, it’s not a given that you will receive a reply. We have lives, jobs, etc and if you’ve ignored our review policy or your book is a genre that we don’t read, etc then we might choose to ignore the contact you sent, it’s life, deal with it. Man the fuck up and lady the fuck up! No sexism here folks, pull up your diaper, put your dummy back in your mouth and act like an adult and not a little baby.

Oh, and FYI before anyone chimes off about rudeness and being impolite by not replying. If you contact a blogger who is closed to requests or to review a book in a genre that they don’t read then you are being rude first so get yourselves down from that high horse as the blogger ignoring your contact is being rude after you were.

Most of us also have contact forms on our blogs, use them, that is what they are there for. Not DM through Twitter or messenger, contact forms are there for a reason not just for aesthetic qualities!

One last thing! Try and get the blogger’s name right when contacting them, it really is fucking annoying to receive a contact with the wrong name on it!

The blogger isn’t their blog.

As I mentioned in my first point there’s a difference between the blog and the blogger.

My blog is called The Tattooed Book Geek buy that’s not my name, my name is Drew or if I have offended you ‘that foul-mouthed cunt‘ though I prefer Drew and if you did use ‘that foul-mouthed cunt‘ to refer to me then you certainly wouldn’t adhere yourself to my good side.

Remember, there’s a blogger with a life behind each and every blog.

Closed to review requests.

This is a big one! If a blog and blogger are closed to review requests then please don’t send that person a review request!

It should be simple, closed means closed just like no means no! If the legs are closed then there’s not going to be any nudge nudge wink wink and if the review request is closed then there’s not going to be any review!


I get you have a book, you want it reviewing and promoting but if a blog is closed enquire about a different type of post on that blog, a spotlight, guest post, book excerpt or author interview, for example, it’ll still get you and your book some promotion.

Having authors ignore that you are closed to requests is one of my pet peeves, nope, that won’t do, far too polite for me and my blog, it’s fucking annoying, go pimp your wares elsewhere! πŸ™‚Β 

Often it clearly states that the blog is closed so don’t pull out the ‘you didn’t see it bullshit‘ still get review requests and I’m closed, my contact info is on the same page as my review policy and it clearly, CLEARLY in big fucking letters states I’m closed but it’s still ignored. You ignore my closed to requests, I’ll ignore your contact, simple really, ya dig playa!

Politely, it is annoying, if a blog is closed then please respect that and there will be plenty of other great bloggers that are open if you just spend a little extra time looking.

Help us to help you promote yourself.

While we might review your book, some of us might be closed to requests and will have you on our blog for a different type of post. Just like a hooker who offers various services, we offer a smorgasbord of various posts.

If we agree to have you on our blog for a post (guest post, excerpt, author interview) then please send us the required information (author bio, author picture and social media links). It is not our job to get the information and links and it’s unfair that a lot of the time we are expected to do just that.

I know a lot of bloggers don’t mind getting the information but others do. I fall firmly into the ‘it’s not my job‘ camp. I’m having you on my blog and helping to promote you, the least you can do is send the information to promote yourself.

Don’t bad mouth bloggers.

We are a community and support one another, don’t go badmouthing us to your fellow authors. You have an issue with one of us, deal with it in an adult and responsible way in private with that particular blogger.

Some bloggers will be cowed simply because you are an author and they are only a blogger, allowing you to bully them. Others won’t be. Freedom of speech baby, if you act like a cunt there’s a chance that you’ll piss off someone who is far better at it than you, hi! πŸ™‚ There’ll always be a blogger who’s got another blogger’s back, hate on one of us, hate on us all and don’t fuck with us.


Don’t get yourself a bad reputation just because you acted like a cunt!

Don’t harass bloggers.

This isn’t the same as when I mentioned harassing bloggers and badgering them through contact for a review in a previous point. No, sadly some author’s choose to harass bloggers. Obviously, because you are all omnipotent deities of great power and privilege and we as bloggers are just lowly insects or if you prefer, slaves and scum!

Harassment on any level is fucking wrong and it is cuntish behaviour to the extreme! Don’t do it!

This isn’t me as a blogger writing don’t harass bloggers, this is me as a person saying don’t harass another person! Bloggers will think you are a cunt, people will think you are a cunt and also all your fellow authors will think you are a cunt too! Don’t think that they will stick up for you, it won’t happen! They will agree with everyone else that an author harassing a blogger is wrong, cuntish and gives all tarnishes others, giving all authors a bad name when most are extremely decent people! You will be vilified by everyone for being a cunt, I hope any dumb fuck’s considering harassing a blogger realise, DON’T FUCKING DO IT!!!

It’s like Jehovah’s Witnesses and those salesmen that knock on your door blatantly ignoring the ‘no cold callers‘ sign staring them straight in the face in the fucking door! We know how fucking annoying they are! And, we all know what they are, say it with me dear readers, cunts!

Respect the blogger’s view.

If you get a positive review then you’ll be a happy little author, moist or hard depending on whether you are male or female and it’s all good, smiles all around!

However, if a blogger doesn’t like your book and reviews it negatively, deal with it. Remember that diaper and dummy I mentioned earlier, it’s time to pull it up and put it in again, man the fuck up and lady the fuck up!


I understand that the book is your precious baby and you’ve put a lot of time and effort into it. As readers, we respect what authors do. But as a blogger we have to review honestly, it’s what we do and you need to respect that.

When you offer us your book and we accept it’s for an honest review, there’s a chance that review will turn out to be negative as we can’t like all the books, it’s just not possible.

I get it’s disappointing if you do receive a negative review but don’t be a cunt over it! Don’t badger the blogger, don’t ask them to change the rating and don’t tell us we obviously didn’t get the book and others loved it.

Other people love Justin Bieber, I can’t stand the annoying fuckwit twerp, see, not everyone likes the same, just because someone else loved it that doesn’t mean someone else will and as I said, we can’t like all the books.

If you get a negative review and it offers reasons why the book didn’t work for the blogger then, simply, it is what it is. While it will be upsetting as you want your baby to be loved, the reviewer has explained the reasons behind why they felt how they did and that should be enough not to get any backlash over their own personal view.Β 

Trust me, if you get a negative review saying that the book was fucking shit then I’d totally get you having an issue with that type of review. But believe me, as a blogger and reader most of us wouldn’t even bother reading that sort of review or putting any sort of stock in it anyway.

I feel that I should say that I’m fairly certain that there isn’t a book that’s ever and I mean EVER been released that hasn’t received some form of criticism in its history (anyone finds a book with no negative reviews or feedback and I will apologise). It’s highly unlikely that your book will be the first to be universally loved, lauded and praised by all which means you really should learn how to deal with negative criticism, it’s nothing personal, chin up snowflake. πŸ™‚

Don’t pay for reviews.

I’ll offer you this one, there are plenty of fucking awesome book bloggers out there that do this for free. If you are asked by a blogger to pay them for reviewing your book, that blogger is a cunt and just run, turn tail and leg it away from them!

We are bloggers, not whores pimping out our wares for extortionate prices, reviews should always be free on a blog.

Don’t be a cunt and I won’t be a fucker!

Yeah, I could have come up with a better title for this final point but……you know by now I like my swearing.

We aren’t a free publicity service for authors. Yes, we are bloggers and we are happy to help you, but we are also just people who do this for our genuine love of books.

Don’t use our love of books against us by treating us like shit, like you are better than us and that our soul purpose as a book blogger is to promote you. No, it is not, doing that is fucking wrong and is behaviour that will garner you the name, cunt!

Our soul goal as a book blogger is to share our love of books, helping promote authors is something many of us choose to do as an extra on our blog.

You respect us, we respect you and we can all get along and form a mutually beneficial relationship for both authors and bloggers together.Β Sort of like a friends with benefits type of deal. Only instead of sex, it’s blog posts, free books and reviews! πŸ˜‰Β 


Now you all know I like swearing and sarcasm in my posts, so, in the words of The New Day ‘Don’t you dare be sour!

Don't you darebe sour!!!

In the interest of fairness and so I don’t appear to be a complete fucking cunt! – yes, I had to get in one last use of swearing! πŸ™‚ I haven’t had any issues or problems with authors, apart from my blog being closed to review requests and that being ignored and while I’d love for them to send all the required information for blog posts, it’s only a small ‘thing‘ and not a ‘person‘ causing me any hassle.

For me, all the authors that I’ve dealt with (apart from one who was fine with me but a cunt with other bloggers) I’ve found to be decent, polite and all around quality upstanding individuals and I’m more than happy to have any author on my blog for guest posts, book excerpts, etc (just closed to reviews, sorry) and remember folks, controversial topics and swearing is more than welcome!


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63 thoughts on “TTBG’s guide to author etiquette when dealing with bloggers

      1. Yeah that’s true, I read one review on Goodreads. And guess what that review was. Reviewer wrote all about how p#ssed he/she was because author was constantly bugging to review a book even though he/she said no. So, reviewer reviewed book like that! So it can be damn harmful.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. New to your blog; first post I’ve read and besides it being very informative, you had me rolling from beginning to end. Thank you for the laugh this morning! πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Fantastic post! I’ve just done the contacting bloggers thing for my book that’s coming out soon and i’d like to think i have gone about it the polite and correct way. πŸ™‚
    I find it sad that there are authors out there that feel it is acceptable to harass bloggers. Not cool.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you.πŸ˜€

      It was just written in my own unique foul mouthed and sarcastic style and no offence meant to any authors.

      I’m sure you went about it in the correct and polite way, most do and it’s only a very small minority that seem to think it’s OK to harass bloggers, there’s always people like that though in all walks of life.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “I’m not most bloggers, I’m not polite and I like the words cunt and fuck!” hahaha oh my. I just found out about your blog like 2 seconds ago and Im glad I did. Youre waaaay too blunt and funny. Love it! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!πŸ˜€ I’m definitely blunt and yeah, I try to be funny too!πŸ˜‚

      That sentence is actually true though, lots/most book bloggers won’t use those words and are polite and don’t like negativity whereas I’m not like that, I can be polite and I write poetry on the blog too so I can even do meaningful but for discussion posts, sod politeness and just tell it how it is in my own way.

      Very much a believer that a blog should contain the bloggers personality and I make sure my posts contain mine.πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This made me laugh so much (I would say ‘made me nearly wet myself laughing’, but can’t – oh I just did!). So true though. Tell it like it is Drew! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Excellent post Drew! You know I love your style! I lost count of the cunts but I loved it! The old MacDonald twist at the beginning completely creased me! As you know asking me to change a rating went down like a fucking lead balloon! πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks and I believe there is 28 c#nts in the post! Yeah, I counted the swear words just to see how foul mouthed I am!πŸ˜‚

      I remember that about the rating! I’ve seen a few other people mention it too that they’ve been asked to change ratings, just not on.

      Ha, that Old MacDonald version is way better than the original!πŸ˜‚


  6. I had tears running down my face when I got to Old MacDonald had a blog … there was no hope for me after that!
    I really need to introduce you to my oncologist I’m sure your ‘wit’ is far more beneficial than chemo!!
    As for Beiber well that creased me up … keep doing what you do best Drew πŸ™‚ x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hilarious. I don’t care how I am addressed or what they say. If they offer me a book that I am dying to read, I will not say no. I just hate rude authors. You review their book, tag them on Twitter and nothing. A polite thank you costs nothing. I blacklist rude authors now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a fair point if it’s a book your dying to read!πŸ˜€

      Yeah, I totally agree about rude authors, a short thank you on Twitter or if you send them the link to the post in an email doesn’t take much time and is polite alas, not all people are polite be they huge authors or someone no-one has heard of.πŸ˜‚


  8. This is totally fair. I don’t think I’m overly picky about how authors approach me, but I do like for them to at least take 5 seconds to figure out what my name is. Or use it instead of, yes, writing “Dear Pages Unbound.” Or go even farther and realize that there are TWO bloggers blogging at Pages Unbound. The amount of emails addressed JUST to me and not my co-blogger because my name is listed first in the “about the bloggers” section in our sidebar is astounding. I mean, my co-blogger’s name is RIGHT THERE. :p

    Also, yes, we’ve been closed to review requests for about four years because we own a lot of books and have a lot going on and realized we only accepted like 2% of author requests anyone. That is clearly stated in our review policy in big, bold, red, capital letters. Do authors still send us review requests? Yes? And, no, I don’t respond and don’t think I’m obliged to since they clearly ignored the review policy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The post was meant to be fair. I knit could come across as unfair with how I worded it but that’s just me and my blog.

      Yeah, that’s my main issue with being contacted, using my blog name as I just find it rude. I’m the person behind the blog and not just the blog so use my name as it’s polite.

      I have to admit though that I can’t stand being contacted over Twitter for review requests or to appear on my blog definitely a pet hate for me.😠

      Not mentioning your co-bloggers name is just lapse and shows they haven’t bothered to fully check out the blog.

      Glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t respond to requests when it clearly states I’m closed! As you say they ignored the fact the blog is closed so as I see it, it’s cool for me to ignore them.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This was amazing. I reckon if I counted how many times you used the word cunt and fuck it would be way over 100. This attitude impresses me, clearly I’m a proper lady.

        Hahahaha the old MacDonald is my jam man.

        Ps that Justin Bieber bit is all lies. I know you truly idolise him and brought a Bieber bowl cut wig to pretend to be him in your bedroom mirror.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Drew, brilliant post as always, here’s hoping those authors with bad etiquette see it and take it on board! I hate it when they make no effort at all to get to know you/get your name right. There’s one I can think of recently that contacted me about four times going on and on about how much they loved my blog and my writing style and addressed me as Bethany. πŸ˜• Anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis would know I’m a BETH so it was obvious they hadn’t read a thing. That shit just isn’t going to wash with me!! πŸ˜†

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh god, don’t even get me started on people who message the first blogger they find! The amount of messages I’ve gotten in the past asking me to review something that is CLEARLY not of my preferred genre is unreal. No, I do NOT want to review your 2,000 page epic, military, historical novel! And messages that are clearly a copy and paste job too! Massive pet peeve of mine.

    I do like your alternate idea for authors approaching bloggers who are closed to requests, though. While a blogger might have too big a backlog of books to review in order to do a review, things like guest posts are always welcome (provided they’re relevant and interesting) because they can help us during the weeks we’re too busy to do much blogging πŸ˜›

    I agree, authors shouldn’t go bad mouthing bloggers or harassing them if they haven’t gotten a review they agree with. Sure, like you say, if the review is literally “this is a pile of shit”, sure, be pissed off. That’s not constructive at all! I tend to follow the good ol’ PEE chain with my reviews – point, evidence, explain. As long as you’ve backed up criticisms and have provided a balanced review, you can’t go too far wrong πŸ™‚

    Awesome post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha, a 2,000 page book would be too long in any genre!πŸ˜‚

      Yeah, it’s a good alternative and I’ve had it on my blog for ages and at times it’s used and at others it’s ignored. I think authors at times are too lazy to send all the information that goes with posts but they really should have it all sorted, back on track, they have to find an excerpt from the book which shouldn’t be hard, for an interview they’d have to answer the questions and for a guest post they’d have to think up and write a post, point is they take time and some effort whereas a review is just a case of them sending an e-book or book and their job is done, it’s onto you to review which is why often thru don’t take the guest post, etc offer up as it means effort.

      As I said I’ve had it on my blog for ages, not open to review requests but I’ll have you on for guest posts, except, interview, etc and the fact it’s ignored when it’s there and they still just send a review request, just no.

      True, if you back up your point that’s all that matters as you are validating your opinion with an explanation why be it good or bad and none of us want to read reviews that just say ‘it’s crap’ or ‘it’s great’ we want to know why, if they want a one sentence review then go to Amazon as there’s enough on there from know it all nonces.πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah I think I remember you posted something about this a while ago on FB? An author was supposed to be sending you all the relevant info for a post and didn’t bother until the day before? I agree, it is laziness. You’re not a private investigator, it’s not your job to uncover all the information and facts that you need. If they cared about their book anywhere near as much as they made out, they would have no problem in providing all the relevant details. The promotion of their book isn’t your responsibility; you’re doing them a favour and offering them a platform on which to promote themselves.
        Eugh, Amazon and its one line reviews! My nan is notorious for those! She’ll say things like “Oh I wrote a review on Amazon and said EXACTLY what I thought!” and the review is literally “This is crap” πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It was for a blog tour but yeah, I didn’t get the stuff until the day before and it was only the post so I had to get the author stuff. That’s the publicist who should do it when it’s a publisher but they don’t, they f#ck about with a tour banner and send and promote that and then send you the post/except but nothing else and you’d think they’d have a media kit of the relevant stuff that they would send to all bloggers with the links and bio.

        It’s happened with a few authors too and it’s annoying. One sent the guest post, nothing else, I got book covers (they have 2 books), blurbs, links, author bio, SM links and picture and then they didn’t thank me for the post, share or promote it, that dear Jazztin is what we call a c#nt! I remember it as I’d posted it a couple of hours before, sent the guy the link to share, no shares, no thanks but he commented on a FB thread about what book he’d like to see turned into a movie or TV show you can guess he said his own book!Lmao but I just thought f#ck it and why can’t you promote the post you wrote on a decent blog but you can say ‘my book’ sigh!

        Sad thing is, lots of authors will send the stuff if you ask them and they ask that if you need anything else to let them know, which is why I made the point most are decent. But what I don’t get and this is for both publicists and authors is that we shouldn’t have to ask them for information and links about them, it’s not our job to find them and while lots are happy to provide it, we shouldn’t have to even ask as they should provide it with the e-book, except, Guest Post as we are helping them to promote their work and themselves and yet most of the time they don’t send the information to tell the blogs readers who they are!

        Lmao though I give Granz credit that she can even use Amazon!

        Yeah, long moaning comment, sorry!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That’s horrendous on the publisher’s part! Publishing houses are made up different departments and I can almost 100% guarantee that one of those departments deals with promoting the books they publish! Like you say, you would think they’d have a media kit. I don’t imagine they’d take that long to create and even if they did, it’s their job! It’s what they get paid for! Eugh, people!
        That’s real shitty about that author too. He sounds like he needs taking down a peg or two! I think some people get so successful it can go to their head and they see things like as entitlements, not privileges! Did you say anything to him?
        Haha yeah, my grandparents aren’t too bad with technology. My grandad in particular. I think he uses more technology than me, to be honest!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Ha, yeah it is! It’s happened a couple of times, recently and last year which was worse as I got sent the stuff late afternoon and had agreed to post in the morning the following day. It’s just rude at times and shows that bloggers get taken for granted by publishers at times.

        No, I didn’t say anything to the author.

        Awesome, technological granz and grampz, my mother is a complete technophobe!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

      5. It really is rude, it’s like they assume you don’t have anything else to do and I bet if you hadn’t posted it they would have been the first to complain!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Drew is on a roll again πŸ˜€ hahaha… my hat off to you, for taking time and putting in all the effort to write this post… Same things annoy me but most of the time, lately I couldn’t be arsed to even be annoyed about it anymore and I could not be arsed to write about it either πŸ˜€ hahahaha, but that’s why we have you! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I get emailed all the time fo requests of books I don’t read. I don’t answer. The other prob is when you receive a book and then they check in and tell you that there’s a newer version so here it is and then another month later email you again with a NEWER version and I haven’t even read the book yet. πŸ™„

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t blame you for not answering, it’s what I do. If it’s not a genre you read then why bother replying, the fact they are asking shows they haven’t checked your blog and what you read out.

      Ah, that hasn’t happened to me but I can imagine how annoying it would be!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh yes it’s totally annoying. Or I’ll warn them that I’m really behind but would be happy to try when I have a moment, and then two weeks later they are asking how I liked the book. Argh.

        Liked by 1 person

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