My Musings

TTBG: Venting. #BookBloggers #BookBlogger #Blogger #Bloggers

TTBG- Venting

On my recent post reasons why a blogger declines to review your book and have you on their blog (which, unlike this diatribe is a fantastic post that if you haven’t already then you should check out) Yvonne from Me and My Books commented that the post was very professional but that she also likes it when I rant. Well…….if that’s not an invitation for me to rant away then I don’t know what is?!? Gotta keep the fans happy after all, I don’t have many!

So, here goes let’s lose some followers! Rant time baby!

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The above gif signifies my follower count falling off the cliff and the gif below shows me not giving a fuck as I don’t blog for followers or stats.

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I’ve seen and read a few things recently that have really ground my gears and pissed me off and can only be described as snowflake inspired fuckwit nonsense.

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I’ll start with this. I have a name, my mother and my father (God rest his soul) gave it to me when I was born. Everyone else has a name too, are you shocked?! I’m not! Mine is Drew, hello! If you prefer you can call me asshole, fucker, cunt or that dickhead with a blog!

If a blogger wants their name to be used in contact by an author it is NOT conceited nor is it narcissistic! I’ve heard, read and seen some bullshit in my time but as far as blogging goes, that pearl of wisdom or if you prefer, a pile of garbage that wanting to be referred to by your name is conceited is right up there with the best.

Using someone’s name is common fucking courtesy and it is not narcissistic behaviour to want to be addressed by your name in contact!

Riddle me this, if your blog about page and/or review policy has your name on it then why shouldn’t an author use it when contacting you after checking out your blog?! There is no reason at all! Oh, I’m sorry, is that conceited of me, how very bad of me, I do humbly apologise for offending you and your delicate sensibilities revolving around equality. Give. A. Fuck.

If authors treated bloggers as equal then they would use their name in contact, many do, many do not but it is politeness, plain and simple! Lots of us have had our fair share of generic mass emails that we would like our name to be used not for the purpose of feeling like a god or goddess but solely to show that the author has bothered to check out our blog before contacting us. Conceited, self-centred and narcissistic behaviour?! I think not.

As the proverb goes, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones and maybe, just maybe if you had received some of the generic, mass and genuinely shoddy contact that others have been unfortunate enough to be sent whilst blogging then you wouldn’t be so quick to judge and cast aspersions over other bloggers behaviour!

OK folks, those of you reading this, do you think it’s narcissistic of us to want authors to use our name when contacting us? Or are you, like me, already a narcissist and a self-centred and conceited bastard?

Chant with me gang!

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One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!

Or, as Eminem rapped.

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Hi! My name is (what?)
My name is (who?)
My name is Slim Shady
Hi! My name is (huh?)
My name is (what?)
My name is Slim Shady

Or, as Destiny’s Child sang.

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Say my name, say my name

Yes, I’m scared that I know that too! Let’s put it down to I’m well educated, clever and well versed in music.

Bloggers wanting a little respect from authors isn’t them being conceited nor is it them treating authors like they are beneath them!

Technically, every time a blogger has an author on their blog they are doing them a favour. Likewise, by giving the blogger a free book and/or blog post the author is doing the blogger a favour by giving them a free book and/or blog content.

It seems crass to say that though, a favour, no, it’s best and true to say that it is beneficial to both bloggers and authors when they choose to work together. BOTH!

Right, now that BS has been addressed let’s look at this. Just because people have different views it does NOT mean that they are trying to cause a division within the community! People are allowed different opinions, it is life and if everyone thought the same and had the same opinion then, simply put, it would be boring! Or if you prefer BAF, my acronym that stands for Boring. As. Fuck.

If you are looking for people who cause a division in the book blogging community then don’t look at bloggers like me and similar (yeah, I’m referencing me, conceited, I think not as it’s my own blog) look at those bloggers who charge for reviews! They are the ones causing a division. They are the ones saying ‘I’m better than you’ as they feel like they have a right to charge for what many others do for free!

Riddle me this, what makes them any better than the countless other bloggers who review for free?! And don’t tell me that their stats are impressive and that that is why they charge unless they show us we don’t know that! What justification do they have! None! They may well get fewer page views than us, we don’t know! They are the ones putting themselves on a pedestal, proclaiming that they are above others and dividing the community into bloggers who charge and bloggers who don’t charge for reviews, not those of us who, on occasion have different views and show some individuality.

Notice how I’ve shown those bloggers who charge for reviews some respect in this post and that I haven’t referred to them by the name I came up with for them of book hooker! You see, book hooker is a term to describe bloggers who charge, a book hooker and not a blogger. However, I was pulled up on my use of the term, book hooker is the term as it shamed sex workers. I was accused of calling them (on SM for the world to see) less than human just for using the term book hooker! I guess I should have visited the blogger’s blog who did it but alas, I’m not that sad and I have better things to do with my time than visit blogs to hate on posts.πŸ‘Œ

So, for this post, I haven’t used the term book hooker to describe bloggers who charge, nope, not called them a book hooker at all, not once!

Just so that we are crystal on the subject. Not once have I called a blogger who charges a book hooker, you got that? Good. Though, I’m fairly certain that the only people who would take offence at the term book hooker to describe a blogger who charges is one and if that’s the case, touchΓ©. I have offended you and you offend me by charging for reviews.

But, if you genuinely don’t like the term then let me offer you these choices, book fucker? Book sucker? Book muncher? Better?!

Trying to cause division in the community for having individual views, don’t make me fucking laugh. I mean, really, the BS express has been producing some grade A turds recently. It’s choo-choo all aboard the shit train to turdsville!

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Likewise, just because people have different views or blog in a different way it doesn’t make them negative influences on the community! For people who preach individuality and equality let people be fucking individual by blogging how they want!

If people want to be negative on their blog and on their SM feed then that is their choice! There can’t be positive without negative. The two go hand in hand together and you cannot have one without the other.

There is bound to be negativity in the book blogging community don’t be naive and tell me that there isn’t! There is negativity in every aspect and walk of life. It is how it is. The world isn’t full of sunshine and rainbows so why should the book blogging community be?! It wouldn’t! It’s not a microcosm that is immune to the negativity that plagues the world.

You don’t want to be part of the negativity, that’s fine, hide your head in the sand and let it pass you by but don’t blatantly lie and say that there isn’t negativity and if people want to be negative at times then let them!

There are enough twidiots and twunts who infest social media with their nonsense BS and yet are popular not to piss and moan just because some choose on occasion to be negative.

I don’t understand the whole hating on people being negative if someone wants to moan then let them! It’s not wrong of them to express their view. You are actually being negative by putting constraints on what a blogger should post on their feeds. Again, it’s BS. Listen up snowflakes you don’t like it, don’t read it!

A lot of bloggers say that they find blogging to be hard at times and it is but I’m tired of seeing people, often other bloggers themselves telling those bloggers that if they find it hard then quit! At times life is fucking hard but you don’t fucking quit it at the first bit of hardship that comes your way.

Lots of us have scars from hardship and pain, doesn’t mean that we quit and it doesn’t make you special. There is nothing wrong with bloggers stating that blogging can be or is currently hard for them, it’s their opinion and thoughts are you seriously telling me that they shouldn’t express those thoughts?!

You endure, ride the wave, take the rough with the smooth and carry on! If a blogger truly isn’t enjoying blogging anymore then, yes, they should take a break and consider their options which could possibly result in them quitting but telling people to quit just because they’ve mentioned on social media or in a post that blogging is hard for them at the moment, no, that’s not on.

The fact that people tell other bloggers to quit when they are having a rough patch just goes to show that this community isn’t as positive, as supportive or as helpful as many make it out to be. I’m finding blogging hard, no, we are here for you if you want to talk, no, we’ve got your back just the BS that is quit! Well, fuck you! Blogging can be hard but that doesn’t mean that the blogger wants to or needs to quit!

I’ve found blogging hard myself and even after two years I still doubt the quality of my reviews. If you find blogging hard then I won’t tell you to quit, I’ve got your back.πŸ‘Œ And, to those that do tell others to quit try picking people up instead of putting them the fuck down!

One thing that really annoys me is when people (just like with SM) come on to and read a bloggers blog post and then take offence over certain words and how the post itself has been written.

Oh no! You’ve found a word insulting, rude, derogatory, disrespectful, hurtful, wounding, abusive, objectionable, displeasing, annoying, exasperating, irritating, vexing, galling, provocative, provoking, humiliating, impertinent, impudent, insolent, personal, discourteous, uncivil, impolite, unmannerly, unacceptable, shocking, scandalous and outrageous, who cares!

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People write differently! If everyone wrote blog posts in the same fucking way then blogging would be fucking boring! Individuality! That’s what blogging is about not thousands of carbon copies of the exact same post in the exact same way! Everyone has their own unique style, let them express themselves in their own way!

You are the one visiting the blog, if you like it then give them a follow. If you don’t then move on. Not every blogger will like everyone else’s blog and that is fine, it’s how it should be because we can’t like everything!

A blog is akin to a house, it’s the blogger’s blog like it’s the person’s house. You wouldn’t go into someone’s house, as a guest and subsequently start hating on them, don’t do it on someone’s blog either!

You know what I say to people who do that?! Bollocks!

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There are many things in this world, many, many, many things that are absolutely vile, pure filth, utterly disgusting and offensive. Blog posts written in a way that is individual to that particular blogger and that don’t conform to some BS perceived stereotype are not one of them!

If you don’t like how a blogger writes on their own blog you need to realise that the issue isn’t with them, it is with you and you cannot expect them to change.

Some people, sadly and these are the conceited ones need to understand that there is a difference between things that are actually offensive and things that they have just taken offence at.

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If you don’t like what someone posts then don’t continue reading it and don’t follow them! Don’t publicly hate on them because you have been offended by something that isn’t offensive and is only something that has offended you, singular because honey and because dude, the world doesn’t revolve around you!

Man up, women up and then pull up your big boy pants and your big girl pants and deal with it!

Are we even allowed freedom of expression and freedom of speech anymore?!

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All I am is a blogger who writes from the heart and in their own way, on their own blog. If you don’t like it, don’t follow me, it’s simple really because it’s my own shitty little blog that never receives any recognition and anyone ever gives a fuck about and honestly, I am not going to change how I blog!

I do ask though if I’m not free to write posts how the fuck I want without repercussions because either my views are different, negative or someone has taken offence over my use of a certain word or term then I have to question what is the point of me even having a blog?!

I guess that some people are always going to be insulted and offended over something trivial and so, to conclude, I will reiterate this point, there is no need to hate. Every blogger is valued and their view valid and if you don’t like a blog and blogger then just don’t follow them.


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76 thoughts on “TTBG: Venting. #BookBloggers #BookBlogger #Blogger #Bloggers

  1. Great post, Drew (I *can* call you Drew, right? πŸ˜‰). I’ve yet to encounter any negativity to my reviews or writing, but it’s bound to happen at some time. There’s a thread over on Twitter that has left a sour taste after someone expressed an opinion that really fucked another user off. It got quite out of control, but that Twitter for you. There’s a lot of opinionated, high and mighty types on there. I keep out of it, tbh. Yeah, I’m a bit of a coward, lol, but I love to share the things that I enjoy or love; same with my blog. I love your blog, and your honesty, don’t ever change πŸ˜…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You can call me Drew, yes, it’s my name and what I prefer though I am also partial to The Blogging God.πŸ˜‚ I included the other names for those who will take offence at the post so that they had a insult ready to use. I was being nice and thinking about them.πŸ˜‚

      Yeah, unfortunately it’s bound to happen!πŸ˜‚

      I saw that thread on Twitter earlier, it did definitely get out of hand. I stopped reading it when it seemed to be turning personal.

      I try and keep out of it but sometimes things really annoy me and if I feel strongly about it, I’ll rant as I’m a believer in its my blog and I can post what I want.πŸ˜‚

      Thanks, alas, I’m too old to change and also stubborn in my blogging ways to change them.πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. At first, I thought this was getting into the territory of review requests not citing your proper *name* upon e-mail request to read a book (or getting it grossly incorrect upon word processing)–but alas, it has taken a different turn! Although I will say that it is a more personable thing to do if you cater your request versus mass mailings.

    I’m kind of in my own little bubble in the community in not knowing what goes on but I’m also cool with not seeing negativity directed at someone especially if it’s if how they themselves choose to release their content in their own space (so, sorry to hear if that’s what you’re dealing with, Drew!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, I touched on review requests and not using bloggers names in my recent reasons why a blogger declines to review your book post. The general consensus seemed to be by all (I got bloggers to contribute) that it’s the polite thing to do. This was more just a general post really as a few things have annoyed me recently and I wanted to vent out my views.

      It is just annoying, you blog how you want to blog and get pulled up on it. If it’s offensive then sure but if it’s only offensive to that person then they should just move on as there are plenty of other blogs out there to follow that they will enjoy. Focus on them and not issues with the ones you don’t like reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Vent and rant away my friend! I am beginning to think we are connected with entirely different groups in the community, as I am fortunate enough not to be aware of most of the frustrations you face, or maybe too tuned out? I do that haha.. I am a truly not give a shit enough, that I just keep scrolling. So I guess I miss a lot. I get it about the name thing, it is common respect. I just delete mass emails πŸ˜‰ Hope you have a great week ahead!

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    1. I’m the same, I hear about negativity in toxicity in online book community all the time but apart from maybe one instance where an author was being a SUPER-douche I honestly have never seen it. I am not at all discounting its existence, every community has some element of negativity, I am just a little baffled that I haven’t really encountered it.

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      1. I think that I tend to skim past anything that feels negative so I overlook a ton πŸ˜‰ But I know it is there. I have to admit, my worst encounter was with a ill-behaved author as well. Since then, I realized that if I wanted to be happy blogging, I would have to learn to block out a lot and place my focus where it makes me feel best. So maybe we do see it, but do not?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ah, yes, an ill behaved author. Possibly one who commented on a recent bullying post and yet has bullied themselves and possibly one who told me that my blog needs refining but then again possibly not either.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Certain things just annoy me, especially the negative bit as I am, on occasion negative in my views but I also stand up for the community and support bloggers and it annoys me when it’s classed as a bad influence, etc. No, just bloggers sharing their views and also standing up for what they believe.

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      3. Ah, yes maybe it has been said author πŸ˜‰ What a hoot haha. I always have an inside laugh when I see them pop up and preach the right πŸ˜›

        I do not think anyone views you as a bad influence lol. We all have our limits and handle our encounter in various ways. Living with my current real life struggles, I cannot deal with added negativity as I strive to be happy and adjust, so I tend to move on. But there is definitely nothing wrong with having a voice πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    2. It is! That’s what really annoyed me. The whole name thing. It’s just politeness and courtesy to want it to be used that’s all. It’s nothing sinister or malicious and honestly, it just shows that at the least the author has bothered to read your blog and knows your name.

      I see no issue in it yet someone thinks it’s conceited by bloggers, nah, it’s just polite and surely if you want to appear on a blog you’d bother to check out the bloggers name anyway.

      At times I think we do! I try and scroll through it but have a tendency to notice certain things, add in certain things annoy me and I take note. I guess with some of the stuff I post I get it more, add in my tendency towards the negative too and the hate that receives and at times, I just need to vent it out and air my thoughts.

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  4. Blogging is a little like everything else in life – you are NOT going to please everyone. If you don’t agree with something then so what! I’ve also felt some pressure about not loving a book and so I would just stay quiet if I couldn’t “agree with the rest”. But one day it occurred to me that I don’t care. If I don’t like something then odds are someone else won’t either and only sharing the good is just sucky.

    I also agree with you on the whole name issue. If I can’t tell that you actually took 3 minutes to read my blog then I don’t feel obligated to spend 10 hours reading and praising your book. Most authors I’ve done reviews for that personally contacted me were really great. A hand full did have the attitude that they were doing me a favor by blessing me with their book – I just send those to the circular file. If you can’t read my 3 paragraph review policy then I am not inclined to read your 300 page novel.

    I have some blogger friends – some really good ones – but I generally stay out of the fray and live in my own little bubble. I don’t blog to please anyone but me. I started to fall into that in wanting to generate more recognition etc for my blog but I decided it wasn’t for me. If I can’t be honest and blog how I want then what’s the point. AND I review for a major newspaper so I feel that while it may not be blog traffic, a LOT of people actually read my thoughts and I started blogging to share a love of books – not for stupid blogger awards and badges.

    YOU DO YOU!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! You do you sums it up perfectly It’s something I definitely do and then get annoyed as people choose to pick the mantra apart. It’s life, people need to realise the difference between offensive and something they have found offensive but heaven forbid someone took offence at a word, the world must know that my dignity has been offended.πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚

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  5. There’s no excuse for someone not to use your name when asking you to review their book (unless you purposely avoid putting your name on your blog). It’s rude and just shows unprofessionalism on their side. If they actually want someone to buy their book, review something, give them a shout out, or whatever, then they should at least take 2 minutes to learn your name and address you properly. It’s not a lot to ask for considering what they are asking of you.

    You know what’s even more frustrating? When people ask something of you and they completely screw up your name. This probably doesn’t happen to you much, given that your name is more common, but I get it all the freaking time. Guess what, if you address me as “Christine” and try to ask me for something, I’m not even going to respond. Asshats.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yeah, if your name isn’t on your blog then sure, can’t refer to someone by their name if it’s not there.

      Lol, no, it doesn’t though as Drew is both a male and a female name I await the day when I’m referred to as a female.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Christine?!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ but that’s no where near Kirsten! Sorry, Kristen! Sorry, Kristine! Sorry, Kierstina!πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You forgot Houston and Pearson…πŸ™„πŸ˜‚ I’m half convinced that the universe just likes to fuck with me by calling me something different every day. When necessary, I use my alias β€œSally” instead of my actual name.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. It annoys me when I get emails without my name, too. I get that looking up bloggers can me time-consuming, but this isn’t a job application or a query letter to a literary agent or something. I’m not asking you to research me or write a personalized email that contains subtle references that indicate you read my blog and we “click” or something.I’m asking you to take 5 seconds to find my name that is located at the top of my blog sidebar. Which seems fair if you are asking me to read and review your entire book. (Also, I have a co-blogger, and the number of people who ONLY put my name in the email because it’s listed first., and they couldn’t read five lines down to see she also exists???, is pretty high.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! I touched on the name thing in another post and the general consensus was that it’s polite. We don’t want or need researching, etc. It’s just the name. Sadly, someone classed it as being conceited and I don’t see that at all. Many of us just want our name on the contact to show that the author has spent a few seconds actually checking the blog out. As you say, if you are going to read and review the book or even have the author on your blog it’s just polite on their part to check your name.

      That sucks, definitely shows that they haven’t checked it out at all.

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      1. I think knowing the name of someone you are *asking to do you a favor* is just baseline courtesy. (Because, as I’ve mentioned before, I really see most of this transaction as the blogger doing the author a favor, in terms of free labor and publicity. Yeah, the blogger gets a free book, but I see this as the author primarily getting the benefit.) Why would it be conceited to want someone to know who you are before they start asking you to do things for them???

        Liked by 1 person

  7. It really isn’t selfish of us to want authors to use our actual names in emails and correspondence like you said, it’s common courtesy. Oh and “One thing that really annoys me is when people (just like with SM) come on to and read a bloggers blog post and then take offence over certain words and how the post itself has been written.”- I actually had this happen to me, I even stated that the post was going to be controversial, and it was. I got some pretty nasty feedback from a fellow blogger who was offended by the way my post was written and took it the completely wrong way and completely missed the point.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, sadly a fellow blogger considers it conceited behaviour. Nope, it’s politeness plain and simple and just common courtesy.

      I hate when that happens and I just find it wrong. Some people need to realise that there is a difference between things that are actually offensive in general and things that they simply find offensive and then just move on. We don’t need their hate filled feedback just because they are offended.

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  8. I am one of those that tends to either overlook negativity OR vent about stupid sh#t in real life… sometimes I read something on social media and then just literally out loud swear at the office or at home, and then I move on… I am kind of sorry I don’t show my support through blogging or social media as well as I do while I am in keyboard warrior mode dropping comments! hahaha…
    But no, honestly, I have thankfully not encountered a whole lot of cr#p and bullying and the masses of seriously offended citizens so I have been lucky until now…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. And Drew is back πŸŽ‰πŸ˜‚ and I’m loving this vent. Polite and professional is good for getting your point across. But with some of the hate on β€œsocial” media recently, venting shows how things actually impact people.

    Where has the β€œsocial” gone? Being social implies getting to know someone, such as ohhhh let me think …hmmm…. finding out someone’s name maybe !! Always a good start. You have highlighted the frustrations that emails bring from some so called professional people. Not getting my name right doesn’t look professional and for me makes the sender look dodgy, cheap and just plaim disrespectful am I going to trust that sender? Hell No!

    Oh Drew ….Destiny’s Child !!!!!!! Really πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ xx

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  10. Did someone seriously tell you it was narcissistic to want to be addressed by your name? Okay, if you were demanding they address you as the ‘Almightiest Lord of the Dark Underworld’ or something crazy like that maybe I could see their point, but using a blogger’s name, especially when it’s written on their blog for all to see, is common courtesy! You’re a person with a name, not just an automated machine churning out reviews!
    ‘There are many things in this world, many, many, many things that are absolutely vile, pure filth, utterly disgusting and offensive. Blog posts written in a way that is individual to that particular blogger and that don’t conform to some BS perceived stereotype are not one of them!’ You’ve summed up my thoughts on this issue perfectly. I honestly think some people take blogging way too seriously. It can be a massive part of your life sure, but it should be an outlet, a form of escapism. People shouldn’t be using blogging to boost their already inflated egos – ie. charging for book reviews because they think they’re somehow better than other bloggers who don’t charge – so they can then bully other bloggers for their choice of language or content. Just let people be who they are and blog how they want! As you say, it if offends them that much they don’t have to read your posts or follow you! There are way more pressing matters in the world right now that deserve the time they dedicate instead to writing overly-long, bitchy, patronising comments. I think that’s what I find funniest of all; how much time people dedicate to responding to something that they apparently don’t like. Like, just close the tab and move on…
    Great post as always!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you and sort of, there was a twitter feed that went into by someone stating wanting to have your name used, etc is conceited and that it’s trying to cause division in the community blah blah blah.

      Yep, exactly, blog how you want something I always champion and very true, so much time wasted to commenting on stuff they don’t like, just move on and let people blog how they want.

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  11. I’m an new author, saying that I have to say I totally agree with you. Everyone wants their name out, advertising is extremely important to us all. I love what you wrote and anyone who reviews my book with have their name anywhere i can put it that benefits them. Bloggers are a huge help to authors and should be appreciated 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. It’s not really advertising for bloggers, it just makes the contact that little bit more personal. I understand that time, etc is a consideration and I’m not having a go at authors but many bloggers receive many mass and generic emails that using the bloggers name just shows that they have bothered to check out the blog for a few seconds before contacting the blogger.

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  12. πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ *slow claps*
    Bravo, you made excellent points, as you know I agree on. I’m done with being surprised by what I hear these days because nothing surprises me anymore. You should just start calling everyone Bob… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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      1. Thank you.

        I don’t know! Because I am occasionally negative, because I want to be referred to by my name in blog contact, a few reasons and honestly, that’s exactly what annoys me! I’m negative at times, speak (well, write) my mind and stand up for the community but according to a few I’m a bad influence.πŸ™„πŸ˜‚

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  13. You already know my stance on not using my name, or at least the blogs name. Don’t address the email to me, it gets deleted, I don’t even read the email. I just find it rude not to address the email to the recipient.

    I missed the Twitter post about being conceited though.

    Keep ranting Drew πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Hah, i love this! ❀
    I also "love" how some people think other people's shit is their business. Like i wonder, how does it even affect them?

    The whole name thing is weird too. I spend 7.5 hours at work emailing random people, sometimes multiple people on the same email chain. I use their name every single fuckin' time. Otherwise how the hell would they know i'm talking to them?
    And yeah, as far as i know, in written communication you start with some equivalent of "hi" + person's name. Rocket science, innit…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, if the name is there, use it, simple as. It’s polite, nothing more, nothing less. I honestly think some authors don’t use the bloggers name merely as they think that they are above them but to class a blogger as conceited and narcissistic for wanting their name to be used, hell no.

      It affects them because they are offended by it and subsequently, the world needs to know that they have been offended by some random word.πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Amen to this!! Yes the world would be BAF (love the acronym) if everyone thought the same! Also *bloody hell* charging for reviews is LOW. And for goodness sake it’s not okay to get on bloggers’ cases for being negative!! (there’s always someone telling people how to write reviews, I find). And the answer is always pretty simple: if you’re too sensitive, don’t read it!! And jeez can’t believe there’s people telling other people to quit- so not on!! And having had someone recently on my blog who literally just came to criticise (they legit said as much) I agree about that aspect- if you don’t like someone’s blog, the answer is simple, don’t read it! No one is forcing anyone to read content they don’t like!
    Ahh that Stephen Fry quote is the best!!!!
    As always, amazing post!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, I know, it’s quite sad really. “If you find blogging hard then quit, no one is forcing you to be a blogger”. Good intentions or not, no, that sentence annoyed me when I read it as just because you are finding something hard it doesn’t mean that you want to or need to quit.πŸ™„

      Ha, yeah, reviews are awesome for people to tell you what to do and how to write them. You should be able to write them how you want but alas, wishful thinking.πŸ˜‚

      There was even a thread in a fantasy FB group recently that was on about reviews and how can reviewers criticise grammar and spelling in books when they make errors in reviews. Another facet of the thread was that would authors prefer a few reviews that are in depth, detailed with perfect spelling and grammar or many reviews of varying style. Luckily, most said a variety but some wanted just in depth and perfect grammar.

      I mean seriously, for authors who moan about the style of certain reviews (not including the the book is sh#t and the author a c#nt type) they need to remember that each author writes differently and so do bloggers!

      For bloggers, sigh, just sigh, it’s that whole I’m better than you, do as I do BS.πŸ™„

      Eurgh, that sucks, I’d tell them to f#ck off or just go and criticise them in return, if I was in a bad mood. It’s sad that someone would do that though.

      Yep, it’s totally true, if you don’t like it, move on but in the world we live in that’s not the case and instead we get the whole ‘you have offended me, I must tell the world’ brigade.πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh gosh wow that’s such a douchy comment- I mean lots of things are hard, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do them. And obviously things wouldn’t be rewarding if they were always easy- I mean I can easily binge a show on netflix, doesn’t mean it’s the best use of my time (sorry weird tangent, but you get my drift- the logic behind that statement is so dumb πŸ˜‚)

        hahaha yes- there’s *always* someone saying “don’t be too negative, don’t say this, don’t say that, be constructive” (that last one irks me- I’m not the bleeding editor, it’s not my job to tell someone how to improve!) (again, sorry, tangent!)

        Ughhh see that FB example is exactly what I’m talking about- it’s really not upto those people.

        Exactly!!!

        Yeah I mostly laughed at them, until they actually apologised…. only to follow up with an insult when I thanked them for said apology. They can f#ck off now πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Oh goodness that’s true! All the snowflakes unite into an effing snowstorm of offence taking and it’s IRRITATING!

        Liked by 1 person

  16. πŸ˜‚ You do you, boo! πŸ˜‚ Oh sorry, I meant “Drew” haha.

    On the note of using a person’s name: forever ago back when I was dating, there was this boy that would use my name in texts. Instead of “Goodnight” he would say “Goodnight Brittany” and I always thought it was super goofy and different, but I can’t deny that it made me feel awesome and special. Like, who does that? Who takes the time to write out the name of the person they are texting?!? But it worked! Don’t underestimate the power of using a person’s name!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Boo?! Ha, if only that was the worst thing I’d been called!πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚

      Hhhmmm it does sound rather goofy when you put it like that and I guess with people you know from work colleagues through to friends you don’t use their names much in contact and you’d just say hi, bye, see ya, etc. But with blog contact, I don’t know, when they don’t use your name it just makes it seem mass and spam like those ‘to the occupier, resident, owner’ junk mail which I guess could be unfair to authors.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, gotcha, foreign to me, I don’t do urban slang.πŸ˜‚

      For authors I just think it proves that they’ve actually bothered to check out the blog if they use the name especially when many bloggers comment on mass sent emails and for the couple of seconds it’d take to type the name it could yield rewards for the author as many don’t even read mass emails.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Your use of the english language and grasp of the rules of grammar to call book hookers book hookers without actually calling book hookers book hookers was FANTASTIC!

    *three thumbs up*
    πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  18. “Using someone’s name is common fucking courtesy and it is not narcissistic behaviour to want to be addressed by your name in contact!” YES!!! 1000 times yes!! It drive me INSANE when that common courtesy isn’t extended!!!

    Erica | Erica Robyn Reads

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, sadly, I read a thread on twitter about hate and division in the community and how some bloggers are doing that by saying that things like names are common courtesy when they aren’t. Honestly, I have no idea why people think it’s conceited but that just shows what some people are like.

      Liked by 1 person

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