I saw this tag over on the Secret Library Book Blog and thought that it was something I could do in my own weird way and here we are, my attempt at The Book Addiction Tag enjoy.👍👌
What is the longest amount of time you can comfortably go without picking up a book?
It depends if I don’t want to read or I’m enjoying doing something else then I can comfortably go without reading for as long as I want but! If I want to read and I can’t then I get antsy really quickly and just want to get back to reading my book.
How many books do you carry on your person (or kindle) at any one time?
On the rare occasions that I have to venture outside, I don’t carry books on my person. Oh no, they might get damaged or stolen by some bumpkin type rube. Instead, I carry a weapon, baseball bat, katana, handgun, rambo knife, mood depending.👌
On my Kindle (which I haven’t used in ages) well, my Kindle has loads of books on it but most are in folders so it’s quite organised.
Do you keep every book you buy/receive or are you happy to pass them on to make space for more?
I keep them all, they are mine, all mine, muahaha.😂
I don’t receive many (compared to lots of my fantastic blogging peers). One day, I might pass some on and if I’m ever lucky enough to receive more than one copy of a book then I’d be amenable to passing it on to someone else, obviously, there would be stringent rules and regulations involved in any such transfer.😂
Yes, obviously I never break any rules!👌👍😱😂
How long would you spend in a bookshop on a standard visit?
It would depend on how busy it was and what the clientele looked like.
If there were some rough looking shady type characters in there then I wouldn’t go in as I’m a delicate, quiet and unassuming person and I’d be scared that those rough buggers might make fun of, bully and offend me. They might even try and accost me and then I’d have to show the police person where they had tried to touch me!🚨😱😂
Likewise, if I entered the bookshop and someone coughed, hacked, sneezed, etc then I’d be straight back out the door as I wouldn’t want to catch their filthy germs! Same applies if there were any kids in the shop, dirty little plague carrying germ factories that they are wiping their snot and boogers everywhere I’d wait until they had left before entering the shop!
Also, I’d like to say that if there was some fine looking honey’s in the bookshop then I would spend ages in there perusing the wares, both the books and the scenery (wink wink).
However, as women scare me (and I them, hashtag single and unloved. Hhhmmm….maybe I should start a book blogger dating site) I’d either skulk in quickly, keep my head down, get my book and run away or wait for them all to leave.
Actually, as I am a blogger I feel that every time I wish to enter a bookshop the shop should first be closed to the riff-raff that is the general public so that I can walk around it and peruse the books at my leisure and in peace sort of like what happens with royalty.👑😂
How much time per day do you actually spend reading?
Anywhere from between 300 to 10,800 seconds. Or, if you prefer between 300,000 and 10,800,000 milliseconds.😂
Where does the task ‘picking up a book’ appear on your daily to-do list?
Beneath breathing, sleeping, drinking, eating (though I can drink and read or eat and read at the same time, that’s multi-tasking and winning right there folks) and going to the toilet but above work and the supposed adult stuff that requires doing cos both of those things suck!
It’s sort of middling like sarcasm and swearing, important and fun in my daily routine but not right at the top of the to-do list.
I did try and place picking up a book higher on the list but I found that if I placed it above going to the toilet then things tended to get quite messy.🚽😂
How many books do you reckon you own in total (including e-books).
Not enough! Surely it is a trick question as no-one can never and I mean EVER own enough books. Ergo, the answer has to be not enough!
Approximately how often do you bring up books in conversation?
Books?! Erm……books?! Books?! Books you say?! Books?! Is that the word? Books?! Quite a lot I should think, I dunno. It’s a hard one to answer as I generally try not to talk to people unless I’m making sarcastic comments about them.😕🤔😂
What is the biggest book (page count) you have finished reading?
Hhhmmm……1 page! Regardless of the book I am reading I gently remove each and every single page from the book and then create a new book for each individual page. So, yeah, the biggest book is 1 page.😂📄
Think about it people, this actually turns one book into many! For example, if the original book is 300 pages and I create a new book for each page instead of reading just 1 measly book I would actually have read 300 books, winning!😂📚😂👌👍
Anyhow, are we saying that size matters here?! Sniggers! It’s a whopper and yes, that’s what she said too.😉😜 The Stand by Stephen King at 1,348 pages.
Under the Dome also by Stephen King and then Memories of Ice, House of Chains, The Bonehunters, Reaper’s Gale, Toll the Hounds, Dust of Dreams and The Crippled God (which are all part of the Malazan Book of the Fallen series) by Steven Erikson all come in at over 1,000 pages for big books I’ve read. The ASOIAF series by George R. R. Martin also rock in around the 1,000-page length too.👍👌📚
Is there a book you had to get your hands on against all odds i.e searching bookshops, online digging etc?
Yes, a signed and personalised copy of Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler and oh boy, what a struggle it was!
Obviously, Hitler is dead which made it really hard to get a signed and dedicated copy as I couldn’t just go and ask him for a copy.
So, how did I do it?! Well, I got a copy of The Necronomicon, the original version with all the good stuff (you know, the copy with pages made out of human skin) in it and I attempted to bring Adolf back with an incantation, it failed or I failed, I dunno but it didn’t work.
However, secret reveal time, this was a few years ago and not long after my attempt to bring Adolf back Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift both started making music. Maybe it’s a simple coincidence and nothing to do with me reciting random passages from a forbidden book but maybe it isn’t! All I know is that I felt a malevolent and evil presence during the recital that I can’t explain and that subsequently disappeared into the world.😱
So, that attempt failed and I left it for a few years. After all, what’s another unobtainable dream?!🤔😞 Then, as luck would have it I saw an episode of The Big Bang Theory where they had a time machine, sure, it wasn’t real but it made me think that this was the way to go about making my dream book a reality.
I’m not the brightest spark and yeah, building a working time machine is far beyond my capabilities. Hell, I struggle to put two words together without cussing!😂 Anyhow, I put on my thinking cap and came to the conclusion that the only feasible way I could get a time machine was by making someone build one for me. So, I contrived a cunning plan and flew to America under the guise of an alias and as an aid worker where I infiltrated the ranks of workers under Elon Musk, kidnapped him (I thought he’s a fairly clever dude and if anyone can make a time machine, Musk can) and then made him make me a time machine, which he did.
I now had my time machine and before I undertook my mission I took it for a test ride into the future. Spoiler alert, I’m still unloved and the world doesn’t get any better either.😞😂
After the test, I set my destination, Germany in early 1945 (yes, the book was originally released in 1925 so I could have gone back to that year to get my copy but I wanted a war selfie with Adolf so decided on 1945) and away I went. Operation ‘Adolfy signy my booky‘ was a go.👌
I flew through the ranks of the Third Reich and yes, I’m not really sure what that says about me!😂 I soon had my SS Death’s head insignia and was one of the inner sanctum where I was welcomed with open arms for my ideas and elaborate imagination.
I finally got to meet Adolf in his bunker, a really nice guy, some cool ideas of his own and I feel just misunderstood and before his time. We had a good old natter and chinwag about a variety of subjects, knocked back a few cold ones, chilled with some yummy honeys and then he signed my copy of Mein Kampf “To Drew, you rock, your friend Adolf, Heil Drew“.
How freaking awesome is that!🤘
For the disbelievers amongst you here is a genuine picture of Me and Dolfy chilling in the bunker with a bevy of yummy honeys!👌Hashtag winning!👍
Side note: I’m fairly sure that Adolf and the Nazi’s had already discovered time travel and created their own time machine as when I was chilling with Dolfy he put on Mein land by Rammstein and started moshing along to it! 🙂
So, I’ll let you into another little secret. To make my signed copy more valuable and in a heel turn more shocking than when hbk Shawn Michaels turned on his fellow Rocker and tag team partner Marty Jannetty putting him through the glass window of Brutus ‘The Barber‘ Beefcake’s barbershop I killed Hitler.
Yes, the history of WWII that you know as fact is, in fact, fake and Adolf didn’t blow his own brains out in his bunker. Oh no, he was killed by a time travelling book blogger!😂😂😂
Side note: Never fear, you may be thinking but Drew, if the Nazi order did have a time machine couldn’t they just go back in time and stop you killing Hitler?! Well, yes, they could but I had thought of that and so, I destroyed any records and all the information pertaining to time travel that they had and then blew up their machine too.
A book you struggled to finish but refused to DNF?
Seventh Decimate (The Great God’s War #1) by Stephen Donaldson. I actually reviewed it last week (here’s my review). I remember being excited about the book and thinking that it had a stellar blurb and then the reviews started coming in and most were of the negative variety.
I’d had the book a few months and recently decided to give it a go. Not gonna lie, it was a struggle to finish but I muddled through in the hopes that both the characters would become likeable and that the book would improve, sadly neither occurred. Alas, we can’t love them all and what one person dislikes another might like about a book.
What are 3 of your main book goals for 2018?
- Read what I want.
- Read more thrillers.
- Continue to enjoy reading.
Have you ever had the privilege of converting someone into a reader (maybe via inspiration or incessant nagging)?
No, I’ve pimped a few books but I haven’t actually converted anyone into being a reader. Does this mean that I have failed as a book blogger?!?! Do I now need to quit blogging in shame?!?!🤔😢
Describe what books mean to you in five words?
A way to escape reality.
So, I don’t really think that I am a book addict though going on some of my answers I’m definitely weird!
Follow The Tattooed Book Geek on: