Welcome one and all to my blogging goals for 2019 post. Now, I wasn’t going to do one of these posts but I’ve seen them everywhere over the past few days and I thought why not? It could be because it is the start of a new year and people want to set themselves goals, it could be a subliminal message from a diety that this is the posting way to go or it could be both, who knows?!🤔😂
So, I decided to knock one out (yes, I’m male, I like knocking one out, blog post, obvs, innit, no filth here) and get on the blogging goals post train, first stop, goalsville.🚂🚉🚫😂 I have to say that I’m rather disappointed, I expected this post to give me a sense of satisfaction and a happy ending, alas, it didn’t.🙄😒 The train wasn’t great either and I much prefer The Godfathers Ho train, stopping at smutsville.🚂🚉😂😜
Sadly, that train has been derailed as it is not politically correct anymore. A fossil and a relic from a bygone time, it has been closed down and no longer can I take a ride on the Ho Train, RIP.😥🚂😢
Side note: maybe start a Blo Train (Blog Train, innit). All aboard the Blo Train, Blo, Blo, Blo!🚂😂🚉😜 Yep, that sounds like a plan and yep, sounds like it’ll be stopping at smutsville too. It’s the circle of life, when the Ho goes, replace them with a Blo!😂
Anyho, sorry, anyhow.😂🤣 Ya know how it is with these typo’s they creep up on you.👍 Obviously, I meant anyhow, I have standards, anyho wouldn’t cut it.🤣😂😜
Right, blogging goals, here they are and holy mother forking shirt balls are they serious!
Read a book.
It’ll be hard (the goal, obviously) but with a little dedication and commitment, I think that I can do it and a page a day should see me manage to read one book this year.👍
Write a review for the book.
Already done and drafted.📝👌 I have two drafts ready ‘dis book iz gr8‘ or ‘dis book iz shat‘ and I’ll pick whichever is relevant to my view on the book when I’m finished reading. That’s called thinking ahead (ahead not got head, such filth) and as you can see, should the book be crap, I’ve used ‘shat‘ and not ‘shit‘ so my review is Amazon ready cos they don’t like the swearing.😂🤣
Write an original content blog post.
I iz already done this one too, this is that post, I iz winning at blogging, innit.😂🤣
Be part of the blogging community and read, like, share and comment on another blogger’s blog post.
I iz also done this one. Holy hb-shizzle I’m killing these goals.😂
Remember to refer to myself as an award-winning, popular and well-respected blogger.
See, in 2018 I won an award. The funniest blogger award at the Annual Bloggers Bash – if you don’t, believe me, I have proof and the post link is !!HERE!! So, I really am award-winning, people voted and everything! Can you talk about validation?😂 Fuck equality, I won an award.🤣 Yet, I never refer to myself by that moniker, award-winning, stupid!
I have also seen bloggers refer to themselves as popular and well-respected, some use both terms, others only one but where’s the proof? How do we know you are popular? How do we know you are well-respected? We don’t, they are just words that you are writing and labels that you are giving yourselves to big yourself up.😂
Due to this, from now on, I’m going to refer to myself as an award-winning, popular and well-respected blogger.👍
Get 10,000 blog followers.
If everyone realised how awesome my blog is then like the Messiah that I am, people would flock (good job there wasn’t a typo there and I wrote fuck instead of flock) to follow me.
Get 1,000,000 page views.
It’s like that Kevin Costner film, no, not Water World where the women get wet.💦😂 Field of Dreams where he is told: ‘if you build it, he will come‘. Well, I didn’t have a vision (copyright, the film would sue for plagiarism and artistic similarities). Also, like Wayne’s World 2 and the line: ‘if you book them, they will come‘. No, I received a scrawled note and on it was written ‘if you write it, they will cum‘. I admit, at first, that the spelling was a bit disconcerting but obviously, it’s an honest mistake and whoever wrote the note meant ‘come‘ and not ‘cum‘. Hhhmmm…..the paper it was written on was rather sticky though.😂🤣😜
Get some Blogubines.
One of my goals in 2018 was to get some bloupies (blogging groupies) for my blog, I failed. As such, in the depths of my disappointment, Yes, it is my saddest regret for blogging in 2018 that no-one took up the offer. I am retiring that phrase and replacing it with a new one, Blogubines (blogging concubines).😂
Any takers to be a blogubine?🤔
Write a worst bloggers post.
It’s the time of year when most everyone (mine goes up tomorrow, the post people, mind out of the gutter) is doing their best books of the year post and spreading the love around (not like that, again, minds out of the gutter people). Some, however, are doing worst books of the year posts too, definitely, no love shared there. Imagine how an author would feel seeing their book on a blogger’s shit list.🙄
Now, I firmly (yep, please step out of the gutter) believe in the ‘my blog, my rules‘ mantra and that anyone can post whatever they want, the delicate and sensitive blossoming flower that I am, I do. Honestly, I drop b-bombs, p-bombs, s-bombs, f-bombs and even the much-hated c-bombs on copious occasions in my posts and I post whatever I want. Some of the stuff I post would make you blush and go running to hide beneath your mothers (or fathers if they so choose, no discrimination here folks) skirts! 👍 Granted, there’s some of you who like the filth and may get moist and wanting but the majority blush at the wholesome and clean professional posts that I write.😂😜
So, this isn’t about that and I’m not questioning the decision to do worst of posts, not at all, your blog, your choice. In fact, seeing them gave me the idea for my worst bloggers post, let’s see how you feel being on a shit list, I’m sure it’ll be super fun and super popular.👍
Don’t worry, before you bandy around favouritism and discrimination I will be looking at my own blog to see if it deserves a place on the list. So, who will be included, who knows, it might be you, you or you and maybe just maybe you will make the list.😂🤣😜
Get to the stage where I still get sent free books but I don’t actually blog.
I have seen people on SM that no longer blog parading their many free books and shiny ARC’s around and I want in!📚👍 Now that I am an award-winning, popular and well-respected blogger. See, I’m membering to refer to myself by those terms, that was a previous blogging goal in this post, you are reading the post aren’t you?🤔😂 It should be easy to accomplish and free stuff for doing nothing, yes, please!
Continue being awesome.
Yep, a nice easy goal to end with.👍👌😂😜
So, there you have it my blogging goals for 2019. With your love and your continued support, I am sure that I will be able to achieve these goals. 🙂
Follow The Tattooed Book Geek:
I’d offer to be a blogubine but I don’t think I’m sexy enough
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Lol.😂🤣😜
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Keep on dreamin’ dreamin’ Drew.. blogubine my *** 🙂 Happy New Year!
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Gotta have dreams and goals, no matter how unrealistic.😂🤣😜 Happy new year to you too.📚
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Laughed all the way through this. Great post and Happy New Year!
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Thanks and a happy new year to you too.👍📚
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I love your blogs 😂😂 just posted this one in my bookclub, because i was in stitches 🤣
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Hold up, you were in stitches?🤔 At my very serious post and goals, the horror!😥😢 I jest, glad I managed to amuse you.😂🤣😜
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Haha I’m not sure I’ve seen a post from you that’s ENTIRELY serious. It’s why they’re so much fun to read!
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There’s a few about, one about depression, one about my dog, one on review requests and another too but they are rare.🤣😜😂📚
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Ahhhh I remember seeing one about review requests 🙊 I saw the email you got addressed to the wrong name 🤣
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When you said blogubine I initially thought you meant blogging porcupines which would be far more awesome 😂
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True but ya know, filth.😂🤣😜
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😂
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Omg “blogubine”! Good luck on those goals Drew 😂
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Thanks, high hopes I’ll fail them all.🤣😂🤣😜
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I think maybe I will just start my life over again! Is that possible? Just kidding. 🙂
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OMG! This is such a great post and l laughed. We needed something like this – great! 🙂
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Thanks and glad you found it amusing.😂🤣😜📚
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I’m all for this new Blo Train! Or should I say, BLOOOOOOOOOO TRAIN! LOL
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All aboard.🚂🚉😂
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Lol, the blo train 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
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Don’t ever change a thing about you! Bloody love your award-winning, popular blog!
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You forgot well-respected.😂🤣😜📚 Sadly, I’m getting on in years, makes me incapable of change.😂😂😂
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I think “dis book is gr8” and “dis book is shat” should be your new rating system 😂😂😂😂
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It’d sure simplify things.😂😂😂
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You dumped me as a groupie how rude !! Just continue to be you and that is awesome! X
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More like forgot.😂🤣😜 Bloupie is so last year anyway, blogubine is the cool new term.👍
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So did I get moved to blogubine? 🤣
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Of course.👍😜
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*happy dance*
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Love this post 😂 An award winning, popular, well-respected blogger what more could you want? Oh yes the blogubines hope you find some 😀😜
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Lol thanks.👍😂 I know, nothing more, popular, well-respected and award-winning, it gets no better and my blogging career has peaked.🤣😜😂📚
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This whole post is fucked. You used the word “moist.” bleh.
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Yep, cos, ya know, people love that word.😂😂😂
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I know I do….
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Really? This coming from a guy who listens to Lady GaGa. Oh, now you will get the ladies that way.
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One song, that is all.👍😂
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I like Poker Face. So yes we have our weaknesses.
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You make me laugh.
That is all 😁
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Thanks.👍😂
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Brilliant but surely we’re not worthy to comment on such an award-winning well respected blog! 😀
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Well, if you all think of yourselves as servants or slaves it’s all good.😂😜
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🤣🤣🤣 Brilliant!
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I’m too old to be a blogubine but if you want to adopt a granny I’m in.
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Granny? Ah, that’d be a blanny (blogging granny).😂😂😂
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I love it! I’m so going to use that! 😂👍
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For the record, I would like to say that I’m the 69th person to like this post, and that seems very on-brand for this post/subject matter 😂😂😜
Anyho… sorry anywho… good luck with achieving all your blogging goals, you have aimed high my friend 😂
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69?!😂🤣😜 Oh my, look at you partaking with the filth!😂🤣😝 Of course, aim high and shoot for the stars.✨😂
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I wasn’t going to comment, but then once I saw that I was the 69th person, I felt like it was fate telling me I should. 😂
I hope you reach the stars 🌟
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Hang on, you, you, you weren’t going to comment?! 🤔🙄😂 But, but, but, comments are the lifeblood of blogs.😂 Lol, I’m not sure about 69 and fate.😂😂😂
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*shrugs shoulders* clearly I’m a zombie-blogger since I don’t get many comments 😂
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Haha, the good old ho train 😀 those were the days!!
I’m looking forward to your posts this year 🙂
But one thing.. what’s the deal with people hating on worst book-lists? Or is it a joke I don’t get? Please don’t put me on the list 😀
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Definitely the good old days, unlike now.😥 It’s because it’s not sharing the book love, it’s sharing the worst books and some were just downright hating and not constructive at all.
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Ah, so it’s about the way it’s done, I understand.
Even though I think it’s perfectly fine to post a list of worst reads of the year.
Negative reviews are just as important as positive ones & I enjoy reading both.
And I don’t think anyone should ‘hold back’ on their opinion.
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haha I love this so much! Great goals! 🙂
Erica | Erica Robyn Reads
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Love it. LOVE it 🙂
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Happy New Year. Good luck with your goals. I look forward to continuing to follow your blog in 2019.
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Thank you and a happy new year to you too.
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This was brilliant! Good luck with your goals and Happy New Year!
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Lol, thanks and a happy new year to you too.
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fookin hell, Drew- I laughed all the way through this post! It rocks so hard! Well done XD
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Lol, thanks.😂😂😂
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Wouldn’t blogubines distract you too much from your other worthy goals? 😀 😀
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Maybe, it’d be worth it though.😂😂😂
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Happy new year Drew. Hope 2019 is as huge as 2018 was
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Thanks and a happy new year to you too.👍📚
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Haha, love the idea of referring to yourself with those titles. A bit like game of thrones, “here’s XYZ, king of this and that, ruler of the things and protector of the whatnots” 😀
P.S i love filth!
P.P. S. happy new year! 🙂
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Happy new year to you to and lol, most people seem to like filth as no-one dislikes these type of posts! 😉 Ah, yeah, GoT, never thought of that! 🙂
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😂😂😂
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Good luck with your 2019 goals! I’m particularly looking forward to your new system of book reviews… 🙂
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Lol, thanks. 🙂
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Way to aim low Drew lol And good luck finding your blog concubines… Maybe you should do a blog post to share what you are looking for in said blog concubines 🙂
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Lol.😂 I’m not entirely sure that post would go down well.😂😂😂
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You are my hero!
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