Speaking from the heart, one of the things that really annoys over blogging (even after nearly three years) is when people start saying that reviews should be written in a particular way! As someone who often struggles to find the words to form a review and, then, subsequently thinks that most of their own reviews are poor and feels that they pale in comparison to most others. Reading that there are supposed ‘right’ ways to write a review really gets to me! I see these type of threads and I know that my reviews aren’t written in the ‘right’ way according to these people and it makes me feel bad, it makes me think that my reviews are worse than they are, it makes me doubt my ability to even write a review, it makes me question why I bother with a blog and also, it pisses me the fuck off!
Yes, it pisses me the fuck off and I’ll tell you why! I’ll even lay it out for you all real simple! There is no right or wrong way to review only the way that an individual chooses to write their own reviews!
When I see authors saying that reviews should be written in a particular way, no! Just no! I have seen some of you say that you love in-depth and detailed reviews of your own work and then go on to share them and thank the reviewers. No shade, that’s cool. But! Not everyone writes detailed and in-depth reviews and comments like that make it seem like you don’t value all the other types of reviews that are written. Those who write other types of reviews are ignored, they don’t get shared, they don’t get thanked (of course, we don’t blog or review for shares and thanks but it is a nice gesture and it sucks when you see certain types of reviews getting shared and not others) and their reviews are cast aside for the particular type of reviews that align with how you think a review should be written. Uncool, you don’t all write books in a particular way and so, you should not expect reviews to all be written in the same way, with the same template and including the same things too! You don’t do that with your writing, you can’t and shouldn’t expect reviewers to do it with their own writing (reviews) either! I hang my head in shame at the double standards on display I really do!
It is often said that authors value reviews, all reviews! Alas, you read certain things that go against this, reviews need to be in-depth, detailed and that they should contain certain points in the review. If authors value all reviews when why do I see this type of thread being bandied around by some?! That’s not valuing all reviews! As bloggers, we try our best and just like you and how you write, we are all different! You can’t expect us all to conform to some supposed right way of reviewing when we are all individual people!
Onto bloggers! I have no issue whatsoever with bloggers who write about how they review or those that offer tips on reviewing either, no issue at all. However, there is a big difference between those who write posts on how they review on their own blog and offer advice and those of the mythical blogging government and police that write posts on how others should review.
I’ll clarify this and burn the notion to the ground. There is no blogging government and there is no blogging police! Don’t be scared of them, they don’t exist and if they did, join me as an outcast rebel railing against their chains of conformity. You build it up, we will burn it down! So, if you are one of those with delusions of your own self-importance and who suffer from delusions of grandeur, get down off your high horse and come and roll around with the rest of us in the filth, the mud and the squalor as you are no better than we are! You have no authority, you have no rule and you have no right to dictate how reviews should be written by your fellow bloggers!
As I said, no issue with those who write posts on how they review, it’s a good type of blog post and it is nice to see the thought process that goes into their reviewing. But when it changes from how ‘they’ review to how others should review, no! That’s not what blogging is. We are all unique, we are all individual and we are all different. What works for one doesn’t work for another and we review how we want in the way that we feel comfortable with.
The funny thing is that there isn’t just one specific ‘right‘ way to review according to all of those who say that reviews should be written in a specific way. They haven’t all gathered together in their closet, cut the breeze, kicked back with some weed and come up with an agreed list of points and rules that they have voted on and decreed sacrosanct as to how reviews should be written, oh no! Don’t believe that bullshit for a second! That bullshit is probably emanating through the screen, don’t blame me for the stink, blame those who shovel it.
C’mon, we are all friends here, you can admit it and you know as well as me that whenever anyone decides to state that there is a specific ‘right‘ way to review then that ‘right‘ way is inevitably going to be how that one particular person reviews! I mean, yawn! Spoiler, boring! Try harder for a plot twist! Just because it is the right way for you it does not make it the right way for everyone!
Sure, as bloggers we shouldn’t be writing one sentence reviews and mostly, we do try and write more than that but other than that there are no rules on reviewing at all.
Oh, always be honest and don’t include spoilers! They are probably the only two big rules of reviewing that all (most) of us can agree upon. If you do include spoilers, then, at least, add a spoiler warning to your review.
No right way, no wrong way, just your way!
- Detailed and in-depth.
- Casual and laid back.
- Write 250 words.
- Write a 2,500-word essay.
- Use the blurb.
- Don’t use the blurb.
- Use quotes.
- Don’t use quotes.
- Make it personal.
- Keep it professional.
- Add humour.
- Keep it straight.
- Include images and gifs.
- Just use text.
- Be negative.
- Be positive.
- Break the fourth wall (like Deadpool y’all).
- Use perfect grammar.
- Don’t use any grammar (grammar Nazi’s can suck it too).
- Use swear words in the review.
- Don’t fucking swear in the review.
- Go off on tangents and ramble.
- Just write about the book.
- Include your feelings.
- Make out like you are a cold dead unfeeling husk and don’t include your feelings.
- Keep it clean, pure and wholesome.
- Filth that fucker up.
- Use star ratings.
- Don’t use star ratings.
- Include trigger warnings.
- Don’t include trigger warnings.
It is your review, you can include anything that you want in it. Likewise, if you don’t want to include certain elements then that is your choice too.
You do you and let others do themselves! Less worrying about how others review and perhaps, with that spare time you now have (because you are letting others write how they want) you can spend more of your own time worrying about your own blog and checking if your back passage needs cleaning and a good deep wipe down, ya know, from all the bullshit that has been spread! 🙂
Have you ALL got the point yet?!?!
There is no right or wrong way to review, review how the hell you want in the way that you want, in the style that you are comfortable with and fuck those who tell you otherwise!
For clarity’s sake, I don’t mean literally fuck them, you don’t know where they have been with their obnoxious views and you wouldn’t want to catch anything from them but figuratively, fuck them good, fuck them real good!
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