I didn’t read a book in December, that has bled over into the new year and I haven’t read a book in January either (shocking for a book blogger, I will hand in my blogger card). It is safe to say that I’m in a reading slump. I have plenty of books (and ARCs) that I should be eager to read and I was, but now, I’m not.
I just feel so emotionally drained and stressed by everything that has been happening, it has taken its toll and I have lost my love of reading and the enjoyment of having a blog.
I’ve tried reading both fantasy and thrillers, review copies and my own books with no pressure to review. I can read a few pages, but then I lose focus and interest and it’s definitely a case of ‘it’s me and not the book‘.
It’s perhaps hard to explain, but there are calm waters when I’m OK, I can focus and my mind doesn’t wander to the pandemic, the hard times that we are all going through and my own darkness doesn’t plague me, but then the darkness falls, the waves start crashing and the sea starts churning in a maelstrom of dark thoughts and life becomes a struggle. I’m not always the happiest of people and at the moment I’ve come undone and I’m broken. I have been for a while, but the cracks are currently showing, frayed at the seams and worn thin. Living is hard, getting by takes all my energy and I’m trying my best to weather the storm and come out the other side not too much more damaged and battle-scarred than I already am.
I didn’t post a Music Monday on Monday and I always post that, it has been a staple of my blog for years and while I had a post originally scheduled, I unscheduled it and moved it back to drafts. I always have Music Monday posts scheduled months in advance, but I’ve unscheduled the rest of them too and I’m taking a step back from my blog and I’m having a blogging break. I guess I’m on a reading break too as reading is something that is currently eluding me. I’m going to limit my SM usage and keep it to a minimum too. On occasion, I will find my way onto Twitter and Instagram, to check out what is happening, to share pictures of any books that I receive and/or to check out any giveaways (while I’m never lucky it’s that old adage that you have to be in it to win it). For my blog, there might be a sporadic post, but they will be few and far between, a Music Monday of a favourite song or a review should I manage to read a book (and enjoy it). However, I will be on a break and I won’t be reading any other blogs for a while, sorry. As much as I’d love to hide away from the world in a remote cottage with no human interaction and only dogs and cats for company, I can’t. Something has had to give and it is blogging and reading. I need some time away from everything to try and sort myself out.
I hope that you are all doing OK and getting by as best as you can. Stay safe and be kind, it costs nothing. Many are struggling at the moment, stumbling and falling and it’s not always easy to see, Please remember to pick people up and don’t put them down, a little kindness might just brighten another person’s day and offer them that light in the dark that they need.
Hopefully, on my break, I’ll be able to rekindle my love for reading, what is lost can often be found and I need to find my love of reading and then, afterwards I can attempt a return to blogging. I’ll see you all around, I’m not sure when, but it’ll probably a fair few months. However, my blog isn’t dead and in the words of Arnie “I’ll be back”.